Who Is This Bitch?

So I’ve noticed something. Every time Someone New posts a little update, photo or shares something on his Facebook page, one of his female friends likes it. Let me explain.

The last few times I’ve noticed he has updated his status and I go to ‘like’ it, you know because I’m his girlfriend and all, this female friend has always gotten there moments before I do. Not that it’s a competition or anything, but after the third of fourth time of it happening, I decided to have a little stalk. Her name was being shoved down my throat, so I felt it was only fair.

She has liked virtually every status for the last few months. In fact, the only ones she hasn’t ‘liked’ were the ones involving me.

Funny that. 

She’s blonde with short hair and big Bambi eyes. She’s my age. She’s divorced and has a couple of kids (I think). Every now and again, she posts a profile picture of her with this guy, but I think the guy could be her brother. The pair look pretty alike.

Now…. Before you think I’m just being the bunny boiler from hell, I feel the need to explain a little more.

From the sounds of it, Someone New has been pretty unlucky in love for a while, and during the course of his single-ness, was set up a number of times by friends that clearly had no clue what he was looking for. A few of these girls he was set up with keep coming up in conversation, because they ‘happened’ to be at a friends house when he went over there or whatever.

A while ago, he was at a friends house, and walked a ‘mutual friend’ home late at night. I assumed the ‘mutual friend’ was a girl because I imagine a guy could get his own ass home. A few days later, it turned out that this was a girl that his friends had once tried to set him up with. A few days after that, the girl had been very flirty with him, and was still holding the same torch for him she had when they were initially set up… And didn’t work. Well, I think it might be her that’s doing the Facebook-like-athon.

He didn’t tell me the whole story at once, and although I could be being just a tad paranoid here, I’ve been in this exact situation before. Multiple times.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think he’s cheating on me. I definitely don’t think he has that kind of behaviour in him. I think he ‘eggs’ these girls on though. I think he encourages them as a confidence boost; an ego-massager, if you like? Not in a malicious way. I just don’t think he’s used to having female attention, and from looking at his younger photos, he’s definitely gotten better with age. I think he’s relishing. That’s fine – we all do it. But does it need to happen right in front of my face?

When I put a hot profile picture up (you know the one – you took fifteen IDENTICAL shots, and picked the right one where your eyeliner / eyebrows / contouring looked spot on, and then you added a filter, ‘blurred’ out the blemishes… etc.), the guys that want to have sex with me don’t publicly ‘like’ every one. They send me a cheeky WhatsApp message telling me how hot I look. It doesn’t need to be publicly broadcasted. Like honestly, this bitch just looks a little desperate. EVERY status? I don’t even do that, and I’m his girlfriend.

Part of me wants to ask him outright – Who is this bitch? Why is she liking all of your statuses, shares, pictures, etc.? All of them that don’t include me? But can I? I don’t know. I’ll blame the female intuition thing, but something doesn’t feel right about it. It just makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just all innocent?

I know this though – if I’m getting jealous, I definitely like him. It takes a lot to make me jealous these days.

One thought on “Who Is This Bitch?

  1. Most times, that person who likes everything you post is going to seem desperate and barely register. So I think its best to treat her like the poor girl that is all obsessed with your man, rather than as a threat. Chances are he is not that into her at all, else hed be the one all up in her stuff liking it, not vice versa.

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