So, I’ve figured out the answer to the question. How do you make a relationship with Big Love last longer than two years?
The answer – get yourself pregnant.
Talking to some of my girls on the other side of the world, bitching about the Beluga Whale and Little Miss Sunshine and their current ‘being-sued situation‘, and I learned some new information.
Big Love got fired from his job. Boom.
He had to move away. Boom.
He accidentally got his girlfriend pregnant. Boom.
Well, well, well, what with Big Love and Beluga Whale, karma is on fine form right now, don’t you think?
For a split second, my heart pined. I’m happy for him though! Genuinely. I’m clapping my hands with glee and excitement over the fact he fucked up his life once again, going from a job where he was earning thousands every month to being a manager of some crappy little vitamin store, but I’m happy for him. Apparently that’s where I went wrong – I didn’t accidentally get myself up the duff. That’s the trick to making a relationship with him last longer than two years.
You see, right at the beginning of our love affair he told me just that – he couldn’t seem to hold a relationship down for longer than 18 months / two years. He hadn’t managed it with girls before me and go figure, he couldn’t manage it with me either. I know he has been with the girl he’s with now for a while, maybe even around the two year mark. They split up for a while, and he dated someone else. A few months ago during one of my late-night insomnia stalk fests, I realised they were back together. Not just that but the bubbly blonde had dyed her hair a dark brunette colour, and she had recently liked a ‘mother’s working from home’ page….
At the time I wondered if she could be pregnant and once again, I have learned to trust my gut instinct. I’m always right about these things. I like to think my female intuition is on fine form.
When I heard the confirmation, I didn’t feel quite as shitty as I thought I might have done. I always thought that finding out Big Love found his happy ending with someone else would make me cry, but it didn’t. I couldn’t even find one tear for him, and I think I know why. It’s because I’m older and wiser now, and although I loved him and would have done anything for him, I knew he was bad news. We were bad news for each other. I made him take drugs, and he made me cut myself. It was a recipe for disaster and I know, regardless of how much it broke my heart at the time, parting ways was the smartest choice. Who knows what would have happened if I had stayed? Maybe I would still have been working for Little Miss Sunshine and the Beluga Whale, and I’d be caught up in the shit they’re going through right now.
Everything in life happens for a reason. I know that now. I know there is a reason for everything that happens, whether it’s bad or good. There’s a reason we didn’t work out, Big Love and I, and there’s a reason I left the country, my friends, the bad work place…
I guess I’m just thankful. I’m thankful that I’ve been through the heartbreaking ordeals that I’ve been through. I like to think it has made me a much smarter person, and although I still make l mistakes, at least I won’t make those again.
I must admit though, it’s still a little gutting to learn that my dickhead ex-boyfriend is having a kid and I’m not. Especially seeing as he already has one child he doesn’t see or want.