Strange Dream About You Last Night… Meet Number 14

I hate being single. I hate being single and skinny. You see all those guys from my past that ‘loved’ me when I was fat? Well, they seem to love me a whole load more now I’m skinny… skinny and single.

On the last day of 2014 I put a post up on my Facebook wishing everyone the best for 2015, and saying good riddance to the shitty year that was coming to an end. I briefly mentioned getting my heart broken again and having my cancer scare and it appears this may have been my biggest mistake. At least five of the guys from my past have popped back into my life.

“Strange dream about you last night, nothing sexual (a kiss) but you had a baby strapped to your chest?!?!?! Lol! How are you? x”

That’s what I woke up to from Number 14 – The Postman. I don’t even know where to begin with this guy. It started when I was with Number 4, about ten years ago. His mother worked with The Postman and at her birthday party, we first met. He was wearing a black fishnet top, had spiky red hair, and rocked a lip piercing. He was a skinny little thing but he really reminded me of Matt Bellamy from Muse and at the time, I had a massive crush on him! Plus The Postman was a guitarist in a band. I was obsessed.

I may have been in a relationship but that didn’t stop me embarking in a cheeky number-swap and some mild text flirtation and of course, we got caught. Number 4 was furious and ordered that I remove The Postman from my life, which I did.

A few years later in a bar I worked in, we bumped into each other again. I was now single. He told me he was single. We went on a few dates and before long, we were together. It wasn’t a great relationship and it lasted about eight months. Perhaps not even that long. He stood me up a lot. He never turned up when he said he was going to and he kept me at arm’s length at all times. I played no part in his life and he played very little in mine. I later found out that his behaviour was down to the fact he was not only in a relationship with another girl and had been the entire time, but he was engaged to her and they lived together. He was also bisexual and had been sleeping with guys too. Well, that’s what she told me anyway. She came to mine one afternoon after revealing all to me via email and we told each other EVERYTHING. It was brutal but good for both of us… except they got back together for a while.

Before this had happened, I turned into a total bunny boiler. My Bestie left him a voicemail threatening to break his legs if he dared stand me up again and guess what, he did that very same night. I lost it and called him over and over, every call getting ignored. It was over. It probably already was for him for a while but for me, right there, it was OVER!

He had a bunch of stuff at mine including a phone charger, work uniform, passport, etc. I burned some of it and as pathetic as that was, I was 18/19 years old and it felt really good. He needed the passport for a stag weekend abroad and I told him he could come and get it. He didn’t… He was probably worried that my Bestie would break his legs and at the end, I left his stuff outside my house and I’m pretty sure the bin men later took it. I told him it was there. I told him I didn’t want to talk to him. He left it there. Not my problem.

I don’t remember much from our relationship but I do remember one night that he took me away for a naughty night in a hotel. I did the same for him on Valentine’s Day except the hotel wasn’t quite as nice. I did have rose petals all over the bed, and glasses plus wine ready and waiting though. Complete it all with some naughty underwear and we had the perfect recipe for a great night! 😉

Strange Dream About You Last Night… Meet Number 14

He wasn’t a core-shaker though, you know? He wasn’t a big love story. He wasn’t a great, passionate romance. He was a brief relationship that we both knew was wrong from the start but we did it anyway. He was too hot for me not to have gone there, and there was sexual chemistry between us from the very first moment we met. Everyone saw that, including my actual boyfriend’s mother who also warned me away from my new obsession.

I wonder why he’s messaging me. I know why he’s messaging me, who am I kidding. The second I got that message from him, I screenshotted it and sent it over to my Bestie – “What’s the betting he has split up from his wife?

Guess what The Postman then messaged me…

“Yeah I’m not too bad. Split with the wife but doing well. You better now? Saw you’ve been ill recently.”

I fucking knew it! There was only one way this conversation was going to go and I knew it!!! He’s now single, he know’s I’m now single too! What a predictable fucking cunt!

“It’s fine. She had an affair, so she did me a favour, the dirty skank. Lol.”

What a fucking hypocrite he is. He had a fucking affair with me didn’t he? All those years ago? Why would he even say that to me? That’s exactly what he did to me. Doesn’t he think I still remember that? What an asshole. I didn’t say anything, of course. I don’t want to fight with him. I don’t really want him in my life at all. “Sorry to hear that” was about all I could muster and I haven’t responded since. I don’t want to. What an asshole. What does he think he’s going to achieve by messaging me? Does he think we’re going to meet up and have great sex for a couple of nights before meeting new people and moving on, possibly considering each other as future booty calls? I don’t think so. You weren’t great enough for me to remember back then so I doubt you’ll be any more spectacular now. Plus you’ve got kids now, and you’re heartbroken. You are damaged goods as far as I’m concerned. I’d rather not start any kind of anything with two kids under the age of four in tow.

You know, as sorry as I was to hear of the breakdown of his marriage, part of me can’t help but agree that Karma has done a great job in making sure he got what was quite rightly coming to him. The way he treated me when we were together was awful and although it wasn’t a big part of my life and I don’t really class him as one of my great loves, his behaviour still had an impact on me. I went a little crazy during the breakup. I go a little crazy in all breakups but that’s not the point. I actually burned some of his stuff in the bathroom. That’s how nuts I went.

Strange Dream About You Last Night… Meet Number 14_01

So yeah, that’s the story of Number 14 – The Postman. I’m not really sure how I feel about him making a reappearance into my life. I’ll just ignore him and with any luck, he’ll just go away.

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