I emailed him. What an absolute twat. I sent him an email with no subject, no words in the body, just a single photo – the photo of his reference. He text me back within minutes asking if I’d still be a reference for him. Was he fucking kidding me?
Apparently he’d never read that last email I sent which is utter bullshit. Apparently he broke up with me after I hung up on him because that told him all he needed to know about what I thought about “us”. He had worked a 12 hour shift, smashed his interview straight after, and was calling to say that he had good news for “us” and I started a fight and hung up on him. Twice.
“But of course you did nothing wrong. As usual.”
“But of course your life is more important.”
“But you ruined it.”
That was the torrent of crap he hurled at me in the brief conversation that followed. I asked him why he had just started dating again without even having the balls or respect to break up with me and apparently, that was my fault because I’d hung up on him. It was all my fault.
He still hasn’t asked how my health is. He hasn’t replied to my last message. Brief yet to the point – “Hope all works out. I was sad we didn’t.” I didn’t know what else to say to him. He’s never going to see things from my point of view. What’s the point in even trying? I can’t continue this conversation with him because the fairytale has broken. We’re never going to get the happy-ever-after I thought we were going to have. I won’t be able to get over the Ex and the kid, the way he treated me when he ‘forgot’ to tell me we were broken up. I’m never going to look at him the same way again. He’s not going to be the guy that won’t break my heart, he’s going to be the guy that almost did. He’s going to be the guy that started dating before we broke up, that probably fucked someone else, that was chatting up other women… He’s not MY Beautiful Tattooed Jock anymore. He’s just another guy.
This breakup is fucking brutal. Maybe now it’s done? Maybe now I’ll stop pining for him like the whiny little bitch I’ve become? My heart hurts.