#OnlineDating: Code RED!

Right, we have a CODE RED alert. It turns out, Mr. Libra has turned into a very serious crush. Two hours later when he hadn’t messaged me back after I gave him my username for Instagram (we had been texting non-stop all day), I text him: “Sup. Did the pics scare you off?”

What he responded with…. Well, I wasn’t prepared for that:

“Ummmm… you’ll hate this but I prefer you without the piercings :(“

What? Fuck off. I can see a pattern emerging here. Firstly, he doesn’t want me to talk to other guys because he doesn’t like to share. Code Red alert one – control freak. Then he’s on POF himself. He tells me he couldn’t message back because he was at his friends but then he was online on POF. Hmmm. Code Red alert two – liar. Then he asks me if I ever take my metal out? Rarely. One word answer. Fuck you – don’t ask, I won’t do it. I will not take my piercings out for another man again. The Hubby made me do it too and I hated it. Nope. I’m adamant. I pulled him up on it – what’s the point in us talking more? I’ve already told him about the cancer thing and I reckon that had finished the job. If that hadn’t however, the piercing thing probably had, which is what I said to him… What would be the point in us talking more? Even if we met up, he still wouldn’t like my piercings…. Right?

Code Red alert three – he said these exact words to me – “Surely if things went anywhere, people compromise all the time. I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine and all that stuff

He made a fair point to be fair – when did relationships stop being about compromise? Isn’t that what a relationship is anyway? Two people comprising to stay together and make it work? I figured that maybe I wouldn’t put him on the DNR (Do Not Respond) shelf just yet. I sent him a ‘hint of a cleavage’ selfie with my newly bleached blonde hair and we were back in business.

He was the good one, wasn’t he? Mr. Libra was the good one. Noooooo. Mr. Aries (who I’ve not spoken to in a few hours) is turning out to be the good one, and Mr. Libra is starting to come across as a bit of an asshole – the bad guy. I demanded a chest selfie in return and he responded with – “Anything else? Choose what you want x

Nope. I’m not THAT kinda girl. Which was essentially what I said to him and he said “Noooo. Not that silly!

What else did he mean then? What else would I want a picture of? We’re talking flirty chest and cleavage selfies and he asks what more I want? Gosh I’m so far out of the dating game, I don’t even know how to play it anymore. Wasn’t he talking about a penis pic?

He strikes me as a control freak. He doesn’t want to share me with any other guys, wants me to ‘compromise’ on my piercings, and is very demanding to be fair. And pretty persistent. You know what this means, don’t you? I should be running a thousand miles an hour in the opposite direction but in true stupid blonde fashion, I’m gravitating towards him in the lust-obsessed haze I seem to have found myself in. Now I don’t just want to kiss him. Now I want him to tie me up and go all Mr. Grey on my ass. Fucks sake. CT123 was right. Women are fucking dumb.

What is it about a dangerous guy being so damn hot?! Why do women flock towards these badass guys that we know full well won’t treat us right? I know that it won’t work. I’ve already got my back up about the whole piercing business. He’s not going to be OK with them and if he makes me take them out, what else am I going to need to ‘compromise’ on?

Or maybe I’ve just got the wrong end of the stick and he’s not like that at all?

One thought on “#OnlineDating: Code RED!

  1. Eh, you may be right. He might be an asshole under it all. He might just be insecure under it all too, and it comes out as control in the online world. That’s one of the impersonal side effects of cyber dating…it’s fucked up from the start and brings out weird shit. Unless he’s on the other side of the world, just meet someone for coffee, clearly no sex, no drinking. If he’s a tool, you walk out in 30 mins. The same goes for aries. Say almost nothing your profile, only chat a little online, and meet for safe coffee. People put too much weight in their filters online and none of it turns out to be true really. Better to speed coffee date through a bunch of maybes in real life than chat all day/week with a stranger that might be one of a dozen personality disorders.

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