1 – Fine.
If you can’t recognise this one by now, you may as well give up all hope. If she says “Fine” to you, you’re pretty much fucked already. She’s not happy. It might be wise to just apologise. Even if you think you’ve done nothing wrong, just apologise. It’s the only way out.
2 – One word answers.
When has anything to do with your girlfriend been a word-one thing? She’s full of words. She can’t use enough words. She has to explain, describe, announce, and holler about everything. If you’re getting one word answers, you’ve pissed her off.
“I can sense something is wrong because of the one-word answers. What’s up?”
This will go one of two ways for you. You’ll either get the whole “If you don’t know what’s wrong, why should I even bother to tell you?” or you’ll get the full she-bang… everything you’ve ever done to piss her off over the ENTIRE course of your relationship.
Either way, it’s coming so you might as well just accept it.
3 – She ignores your texts, calls and Whatsapp messages.
She’s normally permanently attached to her phone. You can see she’s been online or Whatsapp too. If it looks like she ignoring you, she is. It’s as simple as that. If it’s been hours since her last message to you, it’s time to go running back with your tail between your legs. Whatever it is that’s upset her, you’re sorry. Again.
4 – She’s in fast-forward mode.
If she’s cleaning quicker than Kim & Aggie on fast forward, you’ve pissed her off. Once she goes into full double-time, fake cleaning mode, once again, you are fucked. You’ve pissed her off enough to get her next to a wash cloth. Even worse than that, those plates on the draining board are probably gonna get thrown at your head. If not the plates, the cups.
Get her out of the kitchen as quick as you can. No one wants broken crockery, do they? Get her to sit down and talk to you. Whatever it takes, just get her out of the kitchen.
5 – She’s pulling THAT face.
You know the one I’m talking about – she bites the inside of her cheek or lips, and her nostrils start to flare. She’ll be banging one hand off the table lightly, or she’ll be kicking one foot against the floor. That’s the agitation you can see there. That repetitive notion does not bode well for you.
She’ll tut probably. There’ll be a lot of heavy sighing too. She’s pissed off and she wants to talk about it, that’s what that means. If she’s making you fully aware she’s pissed at you, you’d better find out why, and get ready to start apologising.
How To Sort It.
Once you’re fucked, you’re fucked. There’s going to be a world of shit coming your way and honestly, the best advice that I can give you is to sit down and get ready to ride the wave. There’s a good chance you’ll get shouted at, but at the very least there will be some heated text-message speak. Just apologise. You probably don’t even understand why she’s upset yet, but at the end of it, once she’s explained it to you, you’ll get it. And then you’ll just feel like a dick.
Honestly, it’s probably your fault anyway. Just get to grips with accepting responsibility every now and again and your entire relationship will be all the more better off because of it. It’s not rocket science, it’s just common sense.