1 – Sleep around by all means, just do it on the down-low. The world of Facebook and your entire contact list doesn’t need to know about your escapades. Plus you’ll get a reputation.
2 – Always use a condom unless you want to be THAT girl that has three abortions and a couple of STI’s under her belt.
3 – Don’t leave the house looking like a skank. If you won’t want people to think you’re a slutty crack-whore, don’t dress like one. Legs or chest, girls – never, ever both. Tracksuit pants are never a good look.
4 – Never send more than three text messages. If he doesn’t respond after the first text, send another that evening. The third one is a tad risky and should never be done on the same day. Don’t pursue him any more than that. You look desperate. He’s not interested.
5 – Don’t get your beaver out in public. Don’t be THAT girl. Probably the same girl with the three abortions and a couple of STI’s under her belt. We don’t need to see your bush.
6 – Learn the importance of tit-tape and keep nip-slips to a minimum. What if you got famous? Would you want a nip-slip pic to make it into the public eye? The same goes for sex tapes. Try and avoid them. They aren’t classy.
7 – Always have a tampon.
8 – If you’re wearing tights or stockings, pack a spare. A ladder is never attractive.
9 – Don’t get involved with bitches. If they’re saying those things about HER to you, imagine what she’s saying to everyone else about YOU.
10 – Don’t air your dirty laundry in public. By dirty laundry I mean drama. By public I mean Facebook. We don’t need to know that you’re fighting with your boyfriend, or he cheated on you and gave you an STI. Facebook should be happy stuff. Just repeat that when you think about posting.
11 – Proof your Facebook photos. If it looks like you’re giving someone a blow job to you, it’ll look like that to someone else too. If you look like a drunk fish, just imagine how gutted you’d feel if you didn’t get the job you wanted because your employer did social media checks and found you looking like a drunk fish. They do that now.
12 – Don’t ever let your thong hang out in public. Pant-showing is as bad as beaver-out.
13 – Always carry a safety pin. Broken bra, snapped strap, you name it – a safety pin can normally fix it.
14 – Always offer to pay for your half of the bill. It might be a date and he SHOULD pay, but you’re all about equality… So prove it. You don’t need him to pay for you.
15 – Eyes or lips girls; never both. If you’ve got Rocky Horror-style eyeliner on, don’t overdo the lips. Do you want to look like a clown? Oh and if you’re wearing foundation, please make sure you blend it properly. Tan lines aren’t pretty.
16 – Don’t buy clothes that are too small. You might think you are a size 10 but just because it zips, doesn’t mean it fits.
17 – Learn when enough is enough – men / drinks / shopping / etc. There is a cut off point. Find out what it is and stick to it. You don’t look classy after 15 men in one night. You don’t look classy after 15 drinks either. You see?
18 – Public displays of anger = not cool. You’ll look like a crazy bitch, and he’ll probably walk away looking like a domestic abuse victim.
19 – The same goes for public displays of affection. If you’re using tongue, it’s too much.
20 – If you happen to find yourself at a guy’s house in the morning with not much recollection from the night before, leave before breakfast and leave a number on a note ‘in case’ he wants to see you again. Don’t expect a text or a call. Then, if and when it happens, it’ll be a happy surprise! 🙂
21 – Don’t be a whiny bitch. Life sucks sometimes. Don’t wallow in self pity, just pick yourself up and keep going. We all have a hard time sometimes… What makes you so worthy of the wallowing?