I might have a crush on Jock’s best friend I think. The Redneck. Yeah, him.
I have accepted that this is now something that happens to me. I always go through a phase where I think about screwing my current boyfriend’s friend. With Big Love, I definitely went through a phase of thinking his best friend was hot. We all remember what happened with One Ball’s best friend. I couldn’t get enough of him at one point. Christ. And there there was the Hubby’s best man. Yep, I actually fucked him. Whoops. My bad.
And here we are now with Jock.
I have thought about screwing his best friend.
Now don’t get me wrong. It’s The Redneck. I’m aware of how wrong this is. I’m totally, one hundred percent aware of how wrong this is. For a start, he’s so redneck I can’t even begin to explain it. He’s only a beer can away from being an extra in Eastbound and Down. But man, he’s got something.
He throws shit around in the yard like he’s made of steel. He’s always flexing his muscles climbing under cars and over trucks. He’s good with his hands. At the same time, he’s so tender. He’s an amazing father to a little girl (that I don’t think is his but we’re not allowed to mention it… even though he actually told me himself as well as Jock letting it slip!) and does everything to keep his new wife happy. He’s a real gem – a keeper. We all know one of those guys, right?
He’s really tall and slim. And he’s got this big bald head. He’s not bad looking – he has beautiful baby blues, just like Jock, and he doesn’t look quite as old as he is. I’d say he looked late twenties. He’s actually 40.
He’s really funny and he’s a hoot when he’s drunk. When we were out – Jock, the Columbian, the Redneck and I, the Redneck was the one that looked after me. He was there for me. Like that father figure I spoke about almost two years ago… He looked after me. I remember being sat on the kerb next to him out side a bar and looking right into his eyes. I think that’s when I realised I kinda wanted him.
I’m not going to do anything of course. Gosh no. This is a passing phase. I knew this was gonna happen. In fact, I think I may have even mentioned it before on here. It’ll go away. I know it’s probably gonna get worse before it gets better but it’s okay, I’ll get over it. I love Jock so very, very much. And I actually like the Redneck. I think he’s an awesome guy. He’s laugh in my face if I even so much as suggested anything and although he joke flirts with me all the time (sometimes rather inappropriately in front of Jock) it’s nothing serious. For either of us.
I actually admitted this information to the Bestie today. He immediately ridiculed me. I know why. I understand why. I agree why too. It’s just a passing phase though, right?