The Queen of Hearts.

You may remember that a few months ago, Jock and I had found a couple of tattoos that we adored and wanted to get…. Well, yesterday we got them. I eventually came to see my poor boyfriend a day late on Sunday night. I got his days off wrong too apparently. My bad. This means that I am sat at his right now, waiting for him to get home, trying to get some writing and done and not really getting anywhere because yesterday I bought myself a new phone, a new tattoo, and new perfume. I mean come on, there’s no fun if you can’t stare at your new tattoo in the mirror, or wear your new perfume in your pyjamas, with no one else around to smell it on you?

Versace Red Jeans perfume

Anyway, I digress. We got matching tattoos. We were going to go to the zoo again but I remembered it was the kids Easter holidays, and there was a good chance everywhere would be packed. After getting my new phone, I had the idea that we could get our tattoos done. One of the invoices I mentioned last time paid out and I had money burning in my pocket. Damnit I wanted to spend it.

After calling into a couple of tattoo parlors and having no luck, Jock remembered one that was a pretty good artist in a shop on the way home and I called them up. They had a free space and we shot over there. Well, it turns out that not only did this brand new tattoo guy do amazing work, he was beautifully stunning, knew Jock so gave us the new ink at a discounted price, and went to college with Jock’s Ex (the bitch!), and took the piss out of her new boyfriend who was, in his words, “a drip”, and ten years her junior.


The day just couldn’t get any better. Sorry, I’m in bitch mode right now. Whatever. Ten years her junior?! Honestly, what she is trying to prove? I’ve only seen one photo of her new guy and I’ll be honest, he’s nothing special. Then again, I don’t think she’s “all that” either.

It was just an awesome idea – the tattoo one. We bonded in our love of needle-inflicted pain… It was our first tattoo together. In fact, I have a feeling it might be the first tattoo of many. We were laughing and joking, complaining about how much our tiny little finger tattoos hurt. And I won’t lie – it really fucking hurt. I wanted knuckle tattoos. I don’t think I’ll bother. The pain didn’t last long, but it sure stung like a bitch.

matching couple tattoos

Lesson learned – finger tattoos are pretty painful.

I do need to talk about the tattoo guy for a second. He was beautiful. Tall, floppy brown hair, the most BEAUTIFUL blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. I couldn’t talk to him, his eyes were that beautiful. I’ve decided to go back to his studio for a couple more of my tattoos. As he wrote down his email address and phone number on a business card and handed it to me, I just wondered how long I could stare at him without it seeming inappropriate. Judging by the way Jock looked at me, a couple of seconds before he caught me staring would have been wise…

I couldn’t wait to Instagram the hell out of our cute matching finger tattoos, making sure to tag him in it and piss everyone right off. Well, his Ex mostly. And Big Love. I made it public. It’s childish, I know. Come on though – we all do it, don’t we? I was proud of our little declaration of love, and it would seem that it invoked quite the response. The Bestie from the other side of the world messaged me with a simple “Matching couple tattoos? It’s getting serious! 😉

The Pregnant Work Colleague who has since had the baby messaged me to say that she was “IN LOVE” with our new found ink. My Mr. Grey, who happened to message me just as I was arriving at the tattoo studio said that it was “better than rings! 😉” and The Columbian (best friend of Jock’s) called him a “bender” because of it. To which Jock replied “Yeah but my girlfriend will be sucking me off tonight and not giving me the cold shoulder…” The Columbian’s girlfriend is still a bitch, and is now being uber-bitchy to her poor boyfriend, often resulting in him calling or texting Jock bitching like a woman. And I thought it was just us girlies that went moaning to our besties?

Personally, I couldn’t be more delirious with my newfound art work. I adore it. I’m already wondering what to have next permanently marked on my body… Part of me wonders whether ten months was too soon for a matching couples tattoo and then I realize I’ve already done it, and I’m already in love with it. It’s not like I had his name tattooed on me. And let’s face it, you’ve heard about my love life… I am the Queen of Hearts! 😉

So there you have it – that’s how my life is going. Now if only I could get this latest batch of writing work done and life could almost be perfect again!


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