First of all I should start by saying Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I’ve been such a busy little bee. Uncool, I know. In between working, writing, seeing my family, seeing my man and trying not to be a complete hermit, I’ve barely had any time. I hope you all had great holidays though!
I have so much to talk about. You might want to go and make yourself a cup of tea. You may be here for a little while.
Big Love is back. He burst back into my life at 7am this morning when I woke up and saw he had left a comment on one of my Facebook pictures. It was the one of the shoes he had bought me. I had used them in a recent fundraising attempt (that went very well!) and the picture happened to be public on the social networking site.
“They look familiar. How y’all doing?”
What an absolute cunt. Not only was I tagged in that picture because I put it up there but so was my Mama Bear, Papa Smurf, Lil Sis and Mama’s Boyf. They were all notified of his midnight message to me from the other side of the world. Great. Thanks for that. What an absolute cunt.
*I apologise for the swearing. There’s likely to be a lot!*
It’s funny because I posted a recent weight loss picture on Facebook (very proud of myself) that showed my incredible weight loss. Incredible is not the word. Insane is better. It’s a ridiculous amount of weight. You should see me now. I’m like hot and everything.
Anyway, I digress.
Since putting up that picture, the following men have sprung back into my life:
- Big Love
- The Lapdog
- The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid of
- The Fireman
- Number 20 from the list: What’s Your Number?
- One Ball
- My Mr. Grey
Is this a coincidence? I think not. Skinny me clearly equals hot me. Must remember not to get fat again.
So here I am happily plodding along in my beautiful relationship with my Beautiful Jock and up keep springing these shitty little reminders of my past. Jock goes all silverback gorilla on me with each and every guy and I’m starting to get genuinely concerned that it’s pissing him off.
Speaking of my beautiful Jock… Wow. I don’t even know where to start.
So, we decided to do the whole Christmas thing later than usual simply because we are both too disorganised to get our shit together in time. He gave me mine last weekend. A lot of Barbie stuff, a lot of Disney Princess stuff, a beautiful canvas art print and then… the big gift.
A while back I found a beautiful pair of Ducati Corse stiletto red shoes that I fell in love with. Clearly these are some custom made beauties because they don’t fucking exist. Huff and puff. Jock couldn’t find me the shoes to buy them because they don’t exist. Instead, he made a better pair. Yes that’s right ladies; he MADE me a better pair.
They are stood on a bed of “diamonds” on a glass cake stand. They are covered with one of those cake-stand oval lids. Like the glass case Beast’s rose was held in, in Beauty and the Beast. He has covered the inside of the shoes with mini-diamonds, and the soles and heels have been covered too. The shoes themselves are two shades of green and red – the colours of Ducati Corse. He went mental with the green and red glitter. It was so beautiful.
There’s one shoe in the glass casing. Why only one shoe? Because Cinderella only had one glass slipper. Her handsome Prince needs to find her to bring her the other shoe. He still has the other shoe… He’s planning on using that for something even better for my birthday.
He’s my handsome Prince with my missing glass slipper.
Holy shit. He’s the one.
He came up with this idea all by himself. Holy fucking shit!
He’s going to propose, isn’t he? My birthday? The missing glass slipper? He’s already planned something bigger and better for the other shoe? Do you know what? *whispers* I kinda hope he does. I actually think I’d say yes. We’ll have been together a year by then. If we carry on like we have been? Yeah, I can see that happening.
See – I’m getting myself all carried away again. Calm down chick. A girl can dream though, right? The girl that never wanted to get married again… I should probably get divorced. Sigh.
So yeah – that’s what’s going on really. Fuck my life.