Infatuation

I should have uploaded this the other day but I didn’t because the internet is shit where Jock lives and then I kept forgetting. My bad.

I’m not gonna compare it to anything else because everything else has ended.


That was a very powerful line said by Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. She doesn’t want to compare her Mr. Big to anything or anyone because all of the men and relationships that she had, had in the past were all over and finished with.

That’s how I feel about Jock right now. I can’t compare him to anyone. The way he makes me feel is unlike how anyone else before made me feel. The things he does to me in bed, and the way he makes me lust after him like never before; that’s all something I haven’t experienced before too. There is just something about him. I’m not sure what it is or what it does to me, but I’m starting to wonder if he is right. Could he be the prince to my princess?

They say you need to kiss a lot of frogs before you eventually find your prince. Is Jock my prince? Have I finally finished kissing all the frogs? Now don’t me get me wrong; I’ve had an awful lot of fun with the frogs in my past but there is something very different about this guy. Something very different indeed.

We are in the middle of two amazing days together. He is currently working with his buddy on scrapping some cars or something manly in nature. I’m currently sat in his trailer, tapping away and watching TV and it suddenly hit me…. We are basically in a full blown relationship. I’m comfortable with the way that things are going. I’m not scared or dubious. I don’t distrust him. I don’t think he would ever deliberately try to break my heart. He makes me feel at ease. I don’t need to worry where he is at night and whether he is out doing drugs like Big Love, or out sleeping with random hookers like the Hubby. This is something I’ve never felt before. I think they call it contentment. I’m content. It’s nice.

I know things have been a bit quiet on the whole blog front but that’s because I have nothing really to discuss. I’d love to sit and tell you all the gay, slushy things that he has done for me and vice versa but honestly; I’d probably make you sick. I literally have nothing to complain about. The worst of it is I’m not even bored yet. Usually I would be bored by now. Maybe he’s just the one I should be with right now? Maybe he’s just “The One”? It doesn’t matter whether we are out and about in his car, just driving, or whether we are shopping, sleeping, watching movies, chilling in his trailer…. It doesn’t matter what we are doing. It’s all fun. I’m never bored. I don’t mind waiting for him to finish what he is doing with his mates when he feels the need to be manly. I don’t mind waiting for him full stop. Something has seriously happened to me. It’s like he is chilling me out. I sleep better with him around. I don’t feel the need to be constantly on the move. I can sit down and stop; I can appreciate doing nothing. This is something I’ve not done before. He just makes me feel at ease and relaxed.

On the other side of the coin, it would appear that the Big Love has either deleted his Facebook or he has blocked everyone that has anything to do with me. At first I thought it might just have been me that he had blocked but when my Bestie on the other side of the world told me that he was no longer visible on her Facebook or messages either, I wondered whether or not onto he would have deleted his account on the social networking site. I’m trying not to care. I’m over him after all. There is something about him that still pulls on my heart strings though, and I’ve accepted that this will probably always be the case. I wonder if his relationship is going down the pan? I’m trying to remember if he ever did the Facebook temper tantrum while we were together. I can’t remember. Maybe he’s back on the drugs again? I’m trying not to care but some part of me still does. I hope he’s okay, whatever is happening, and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter. I guess in time I’ll find out what’s going on. In time I’ll probably find out that I’d rather have not known in the first place. I guess we will just need to watch this space.

For now, I’m back in happy-ever-after land with Jock…… I’m infatuated.

 

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