I’ve Got The Right Hump

Happy Hump DayBefore I start with today’s story I should warn you that my fingers are angry typing. My fingers are twitching for an angry typing session. There will be swearing. So basically don’t read this if you are easily offended or under the age of 18. Probably 16 actually.

Firstly I didn’t get laid. I didn’t get anything. I didn’t get off once.

Secondly, he did. He got a blowjob. He came.

Thirdly, I woke up at 7:00am this morning, on my godamn day off to shave, paint, exfoliate, moisturize, shave, pluck, primp and preen for Jock. He worked a night shift last night, finished at 7, went for a car MOT and then was due to pick me up after. I kept saying to him – “Won’t you be tired, babe?” Every time he says no and is adamant that he wants to spend the day with me. I make him aware that I have a writing deadline and if all I’m going to do is watch him when he falls asleep, I’ll be pissed. Still he is adamant that he wants to spend the day with me. I give him the benefit of the doubt.

He picks me up around 10. We drive for around 45 minutes until we get to the little café that he wants to have breakfast at. We have a lovely breakfast. We go to a nearby designer outlet and walk around for about an hour. It was shit. We go for iced coffees and then head off. On the next part of our travels he says to me “I need to go home babe, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open and I don’t think I can drive anymore”

Once again I say to him that he can drop me off at the train station and he can go home and sleep – it was on the way. I can write. He still says no – he wants to go home and fall asleep for one hour and then he’s all mine. Fine. Once again I gave in.

He fell asleep on me for two hours. Even after I woke him up with a blowjob, I didn’t get laid. There I was all beautifully smelling, smooth as a baby’s backside, perfectly groomed and made up and he falls asleep on me and I don’t even get to climax once? I hardly think that was fair, especially have he got his end away!

When he woke up, he went downstairs and started trouble between a roommate and her boyfriend, because he’s good friends with them both, starts off joking and ends up starting their fights. He’s such a little shit when he does that and I could already hear him disagreeing later on when we finally left. We then debated for an hour and a half over what we were going to do before I finally snapped and said “I’ve been asking you for an hour and a half now, why don’t you just take me home or drop me off at the train station so I can work on my deadline and you can get some sleep”

What I wasn’t expecting was what happened next – “Fine”

He stormed upstairs to get his shoes and to change his t-shirt. He then grunted a goodbye at his roommates, and silently got in the car. I got in the car. There was no music, there was no talking, there was no nothing for a good half of the journey home which, for your information, is about 45 minutes long.

He snapped at me. I’m not going to start a conversation with him. He’s tired and can’t be assed to talk. It was a bad day – one that we shouldn’t have had. We should have waited until tomorrow night (Thursday) when we would have been rested and not quite so sleep deprived. What does he do? He drops the bomb that he will be blowing me out tomorrow night (Thursday) to go out drinking with the male friend that he just shit-stirred with. Oh great. I didn’t get laid today and I won’t get laid the next time I see him either. Perfect. Well that’s just fine because when he picks me up on Friday, expecting me to go over to his new home and help him clean it, I’ll just have to be busy or get called into work.

I was so angry when I got home, I furiously tapped away to the pregnant work colleague, explaining my fury which we then bitched and moaned about men over for a good half an hour. I smoked a spliff and calmed down. Now I’m writing this.

See, every time I think I’m finding a problem with Jock, he always manages to redeem himself and I don’t know quite how he’s doing it. I was furious when I got home and he messaged me later on, I barely bothered to respond to him at all. He had annoyed me today because I had said the entire way along I only wanted to see him if he was going to be okay, or to get some sleep first, otherwise I would work on my deadline. Huff and puff.

He messaged me – “Not seeing you frustrates me. Think I rawr you”

Oh my God did he just almost fucking say it yet again? Once again, not only could he not find the balls to say this shit to my face, he doesn’t even say it properly. You think? You think? You have been playing me with this line for weeks and you THINK you rawr me?

Rawr me or don’t rawr me – there is no fucking think about it.

In fact no – don’t rawr me. Just fucking tell me you love me; face to face, my cheeks in your hands, right as you lean in to give me one of those tender kisses…

What is wrong with this guy? Why can’t he just say those godamn words? Is he seriously waiting for me to say them first because he will be waiting a really long time? I can hold out. Trust me. This is not a game that you want to get yourself into Jock because I can play it better than you can and we both know it.

I didn’t say it back. In fact I asked him if what we had was enough. If not seeing me was frustrating him now, how is he going to be later on? I’m never going to give him any more time than he currently has. Not yet anyway. I’m not ready for that. I like the fact that we only see each once a week and yes, when he moves into his new place, we will be seeing each other a little more than that but in the long run, because of our busy work schedules and social lives, he’s not going to get any more than one or two days a week out of me.

He said that he knew it would be hard work but he also knew that I was worth it.

And there you have it – I’m no longer mad at him anymore.

I’m still fucking horny though.

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