I literally just got home from work and you know something? I really miss him already. It’s been less than 24 hours since I last saw the guy and I miss him. I don’t miss him a little bit. I actually really miss him.
We’ve barely spoken today and when he dropped me home last night, he did so rather abruptly. There was no smooching in the car before I got out. He even asked if he could pass my bag out to me through the window, as if to hurry things along. It didn’t feel good. It’s actually played on my mind for the entire day. I spoke to one of my work colleagues about it and we came to the conclusion that he probably needed to go home and do a Number 2 or something. It just felt so odd and so out of place. It wasn’t a comfortable moment for me. It made me realize exactly how much I was into him, hence the rather smushy blog post that I wrote last night.
We had a conversation in the car and we were talking about how we felt about each other. He brought up what I said about the L-word when I thought his “L YOU” text had meant it. If you remember from Wicked Games I said that, if he was going to say the L-word to me, I wanted the full sha-bang – I wanted hearts, romance, champagne; the full works? Well…. he what I meant by my response “First of all, I think you’ll find the word is rawr. Secondly, I’m not accepting it” and I told him – I didn’t mean that I wanted the world; I just didn’t want it to be said the first time over a WhatsApp message. Surely that’s not too much to ask for? I know this is the digital age and all but seriously – surely it’s still okay to demand the face-to-face L-word?
Sorry? Let’s just take a step back.
Firstly, who said I wanted the full sha-bang? I never told him that I wanted the full sha-bang! I haven’t told anyone that I wanted the full sha-bang. Well apart from you guys but I’m pretty sure you don’t know who I am so you’re definitely not going to know who he is! Where did he get that from? In my last post I comment that there are some mental coincidences going on, and that’s just one of many!
Secondly, “when” he decides to say that word? When? That’s not an “if”, that’s a “when”. He loves me. I know I knew that anyway, but now I really know it. He loves me.
Thirdly, is this guy reading my damn mind? How is he doing this? How??? I don’t want a barbershop quarter, clearly. That would just embarrass me. I do want that BIG gesture though. I want him to publicly shout out his L-word. Flowers would have sufficed, you know, but the fact that he is thinking outside the box is just reminding me how great we are becoming together.
I’m clearly over-thinking this in a way that most crazy girls do, and I know that he probably hasn’t given the conversation a second thought, but this is exciting stuff! I wanted excitement and adventure and a passion like Big and Carrie in Sex and The City, and I can feel it coming. This is going to be one of those loves that hits you like a steam train. It’s going to be crazy. It’s going to be a whirlwind. It’s going to be adventurous and mental and fucked up. I can feel it. Something’s coming. You know when you just know? I just know.
Bring on the adventure.