Blown Out.

I got home from work today and as I rolled myself a joint and prepared myself for the inevitable long night ahead of writing, I realized something. I am really annoyed that Jock blew me out tonight to go out on the piss with his buddy.

I hate the fact that I’m annoyed. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not that same person. I’ve changed. I’m not the girl that used to cry after her husband went out on the piss because she knew he wouldn’t come home that night and if he did, he would have fucked another girl or he would physically hurt her when he got home. I’m not the girl that used to cry after Big Love went out on the piss because she knew he would end up doing coke again, spend all the money he had in his bank account and probably disappear off the face of the earth for 3-7 days.

I’m not that girl anymore. So why has this annoyed me so much?

The last date Jock and I had didn’t go exactly to plan and he apologized for it being a washout later on that night. I calmed down of course – I wasn’t really mad. I was just annoyed. I thought we could make up for that tonight – I was meant to have spent the night with him.

His friend is home. This friend is the boyfriend of one of Jock’s housemates, and is also one of Jock’s best friends. This friend is doing some military training as he has only just joined the force, and is on his first stay back at home since he started his new career path. I know that Jock and this friend (we shall call him the Columbian) would want one last blow-out night before he went back into his training on Sunday, but it was meant to have been Saturday night. Jock couldn’t get Sunday off work so he settled for tonight but chose to blow me out instead. Oh and the Columbian is FIT!

I don’t want to be annoyed about this. I like the fact that Jock and I have completely separate lives. It’s one of the things I’m starting to love the most about our relationship – we both have the freedom to do whatever it is we want. I think I trust him too – I’ve trusted him enough to invite him into my life this far. I don’t have a reason to distrust him but at the same time, he’s a new man and I still don’t know him all that well yet. I know him pretty well and I think I have him pretty much figured out, but I still have my concerns…

I don’t know what has bugged me so much about this situation but it’s making me realise exactly how much I feel for him. I didn’t really give a shit what One Ball was up to. I knew he’d never cheat on me – he was devoted to me and everyone could see that. I certainly didn’t care what the Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of was doing. Not half as much as I should have done, of course. Jock brings out all sorts of feelings that I don’t think I’ve felt for a really long time. This is turning into real relationship stuff and it’s happening really fast. We’ve not even known each other for 3 months yet and he’s already told me that he thinks he rawr’s me. I rawr him right back but that’s not the point. It’s still happening really fast.

I’ve missed this. The huffing and puffing of a real relationship. I haven’t had this with anyone since the Big Love really. I haven’t felt enough for them to be so annoyed. It’s comforting to know that we are starting to merge together and find flaws and things that bug us about each other. At the moment I’m torn between blowing him out tomorrow to show you how uncool it is to screw over your girlfriend for your friend (even though I don’t really mean it) and going along and making the best of the time that we DO have together.

Decisions, decisions…

I’ve Got The Right Hump

Happy Hump DayBefore I start with today’s story I should warn you that my fingers are angry typing. My fingers are twitching for an angry typing session. There will be swearing. So basically don’t read this if you are easily offended or under the age of 18. Probably 16 actually.

Firstly I didn’t get laid. I didn’t get anything. I didn’t get off once.

Secondly, he did. He got a blowjob. He came.

Thirdly, I woke up at 7:00am this morning, on my godamn day off to shave, paint, exfoliate, moisturize, shave, pluck, primp and preen for Jock. He worked a night shift last night, finished at 7, went for a car MOT and then was due to pick me up after. I kept saying to him – “Won’t you be tired, babe?” Every time he says no and is adamant that he wants to spend the day with me. I make him aware that I have a writing deadline and if all I’m going to do is watch him when he falls asleep, I’ll be pissed. Still he is adamant that he wants to spend the day with me. I give him the benefit of the doubt.

He picks me up around 10. We drive for around 45 minutes until we get to the little café that he wants to have breakfast at. We have a lovely breakfast. We go to a nearby designer outlet and walk around for about an hour. It was shit. We go for iced coffees and then head off. On the next part of our travels he says to me “I need to go home babe, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open and I don’t think I can drive anymore”

Once again I say to him that he can drop me off at the train station and he can go home and sleep – it was on the way. I can write. He still says no – he wants to go home and fall asleep for one hour and then he’s all mine. Fine. Once again I gave in.

He fell asleep on me for two hours. Even after I woke him up with a blowjob, I didn’t get laid. There I was all beautifully smelling, smooth as a baby’s backside, perfectly groomed and made up and he falls asleep on me and I don’t even get to climax once? I hardly think that was fair, especially have he got his end away!

When he woke up, he went downstairs and started trouble between a roommate and her boyfriend, because he’s good friends with them both, starts off joking and ends up starting their fights. He’s such a little shit when he does that and I could already hear him disagreeing later on when we finally left. We then debated for an hour and a half over what we were going to do before I finally snapped and said “I’ve been asking you for an hour and a half now, why don’t you just take me home or drop me off at the train station so I can work on my deadline and you can get some sleep”

What I wasn’t expecting was what happened next – “Fine”

He stormed upstairs to get his shoes and to change his t-shirt. He then grunted a goodbye at his roommates, and silently got in the car. I got in the car. There was no music, there was no talking, there was no nothing for a good half of the journey home which, for your information, is about 45 minutes long.

He snapped at me. I’m not going to start a conversation with him. He’s tired and can’t be assed to talk. It was a bad day – one that we shouldn’t have had. We should have waited until tomorrow night (Thursday) when we would have been rested and not quite so sleep deprived. What does he do? He drops the bomb that he will be blowing me out tomorrow night (Thursday) to go out drinking with the male friend that he just shit-stirred with. Oh great. I didn’t get laid today and I won’t get laid the next time I see him either. Perfect. Well that’s just fine because when he picks me up on Friday, expecting me to go over to his new home and help him clean it, I’ll just have to be busy or get called into work.

I was so angry when I got home, I furiously tapped away to the pregnant work colleague, explaining my fury which we then bitched and moaned about men over for a good half an hour. I smoked a spliff and calmed down. Now I’m writing this.

See, every time I think I’m finding a problem with Jock, he always manages to redeem himself and I don’t know quite how he’s doing it. I was furious when I got home and he messaged me later on, I barely bothered to respond to him at all. He had annoyed me today because I had said the entire way along I only wanted to see him if he was going to be okay, or to get some sleep first, otherwise I would work on my deadline. Huff and puff.

He messaged me – “Not seeing you frustrates me. Think I rawr you”

Oh my God did he just almost fucking say it yet again? Once again, not only could he not find the balls to say this shit to my face, he doesn’t even say it properly. You think? You think? You have been playing me with this line for weeks and you THINK you rawr me?

Rawr me or don’t rawr me – there is no fucking think about it.

In fact no – don’t rawr me. Just fucking tell me you love me; face to face, my cheeks in your hands, right as you lean in to give me one of those tender kisses…

What is wrong with this guy? Why can’t he just say those godamn words? Is he seriously waiting for me to say them first because he will be waiting a really long time? I can hold out. Trust me. This is not a game that you want to get yourself into Jock because I can play it better than you can and we both know it.

I didn’t say it back. In fact I asked him if what we had was enough. If not seeing me was frustrating him now, how is he going to be later on? I’m never going to give him any more time than he currently has. Not yet anyway. I’m not ready for that. I like the fact that we only see each once a week and yes, when he moves into his new place, we will be seeing each other a little more than that but in the long run, because of our busy work schedules and social lives, he’s not going to get any more than one or two days a week out of me.

He said that he knew it would be hard work but he also knew that I was worth it.

And there you have it – I’m no longer mad at him anymore.

I’m still fucking horny though.

Broody?

Something is happening to me. One of my work colleagues is pregnant. A female one, obviously. A lot of my friends have become pregnant over the years, but I’ve never stuck around for any of them. When I was 18, one of my work colleagues had a baby but not long after he was born, I left. Because I had gotten married towards the end of her pregnancy, I barely spent any more time with her. I wasn’t there.

When I was in married and in the other European country, another one of my friends became pregnant. In fact, a number of them did. I left and went to the War Zone long before any of them had their babies. And then, when I was on the other side of the world, my Bestie over there fell pregnant. I left when she was 4/5 months gone.

I have never stuck around for any of my friends’ pregnancies. It breaks my heart to leave them every time but this time, I’m not going anywhere. I was the first person she told. I have been there for everything. Her little bump is growing because she’s 5 months pregnant now. She had the morning sickness and I was there to cover her at work for that. There was the kicking and the moving of the bump that she sends me videos of and I’ve seen while we were at work together. The stressing out because she has realized she has 4 months and not enough money to get everything done in time…. I’m there for all of it. It’s doing something to me.

I just watched the episode of Friends where Phoebe has her brother’s babies and says goodbye to them and I found myself in tears. I’ve just turned 27 years old and I think I’m getting broody.

Every now and again I find myself getting broody for a brief spell, but the feelings soon pass. This is a feeling that hasn’t been around for a couple of days – this is a feeling that has been building up slowly yet surely, over a number of weeks now. It started when the Royal Baby was born. It’s still sticking around.

When I first started dating Jock, this pregnant work colleague told me that she had a feeling about him. She thought he was going to be the one to change my mind about having babies. She had this feeling about her husband. The first time she met him, she told her Mama that she would marry him. He was the first she ever had, there is a 15 year age gap, yet they got married in November and are now expecting her first child. Could she be right about Jock? Is he going to be the one to change my mind?

I had a dream that I was pregnant a few days ago and I told her about it. In my dream, I was sat on the couch next to Jock, balancing a bowl of Cheerio’s on my tummy, eating as we watched TV. What does this mean? What has unsettled me so much?

I’m getting older now. I think my biological clock is ticking. It’s pissing me off, whatever is happening.

Did we just have our first fight?

If you’ve been reading, you’ll know that I recently spent my first two-day sleepover with Jock; my Scottish love interest. Our first 2-day sleepover. While I was there, we kinda had our first fight. I think.

I had taken a super cute photo of us while we were at the seaside. In the middle of taking this photo, he shoved his ice cream in his mouth and the photo was ruined. It pissed me off. I told him so and walked off. I didn’t storm off, but I did walk around the pier. I took some photos, sat and pondered for a bit but eventually, I knew he’d coming looking for me. And he did. It was a mock-huff – the test-huff, if you like? He came running – that’s good enough for me.

Stay in My HeartThe next morning I looked back at the photo and played around with some of the effect apps that I have on my phone. Once I had finished, it looked kinda cute and I thought to myself – that’s our first public photo. I asked him if it would be okay for me to post that on my Facebook because it would be the first time that people would be made aware of him, and that would mean that we were really in a relationship? I was basically asking him if it was in it for the long-term. I didn’t say it very well. I haven’t really dated properly ever. I don’t know how these things are meant to work. I think he took offence to this. I didn’t want to offend him but all of a sudden he started asking me why I cared about what people thought? Inviting him into my life is a big deal for me, and putting him on my Facebook when we aren’t even friends on the site yet, is a fucking big deal for me. I want to show him off. I’m proud to call him my man. I wanted to shout about him from the rooftops. I’m proud of him. I like being with him. He makes me so damn happy.

We ended up having a bit of a mini-fight and it upset me a whole load more than I ever thought it would. He left to go to the store and get supplies and I got ready and put my makeup on. He bought me the cutest little sparkly sponge while he was there as he knew I didn’t have a sponge there yet. It was so lame yet so cute. I guess he felt bad about the fight too.

I put the photo up. I suddenly realized that I didn’t actually care. This guy is something special to me.

After all, I love him.

The Barbershop Quartet.

I literally just got home from work and you know something? I really miss him already. It’s been less than 24 hours since I last saw the guy and I miss him. I don’t miss him a little bit. I actually really miss him.

We’ve barely spoken today and when he dropped me home last night, he did so rather abruptly. There was no smooching in the car before I got out. He even asked if he could pass my bag out to me through the window, as if to hurry things along. It didn’t feel good. It’s actually played on my mind for the entire day. I spoke to one of my work colleagues about it and we came to the conclusion that he probably needed to go home and do a Number 2 or something. It just felt so odd and so out of place. It wasn’t a comfortable moment for me. It made me realize exactly how much I was into him, hence the rather smushy blog post that I wrote last night.

We had a conversation in the car and we were talking about how we felt about each other. He brought up what I said about the L-word when I thought his “L YOU” text had meant it. If you remember from Wicked Games I said that, if he was going to say the L-word to me, I wanted the full sha-bang – I wanted hearts, romance, champagne; the full works? Well…. he what I meant by my response “First of all, I think you’ll find the word is rawr. Secondly, I’m not accepting it” and I told him – I didn’t mean that I wanted the world; I just didn’t want it to be said the first time over a WhatsApp message. Surely that’s not too much to ask for? I know this is the digital age and all but seriously – surely it’s still okay to demand the face-to-face L-word?

Barbershop QuartetHe said pretty much these exact words – “If you want the full sha-bang, you can have it. When I decide to say that word to you, I’ll come into your work with a barbershop quartet and sing it!”

Sorry? Let’s just take a step back.

Firstly, who said I wanted the full sha-bang? I never told him that I wanted the full sha-bang! I haven’t told anyone that I wanted the full sha-bang. Well apart from you guys but I’m pretty sure you don’t know who I am so you’re definitely not going to know who he is! Where did he get that from? In my last post I comment that there are some mental coincidences going on, and that’s just one of many!

Secondly, “when” he decides to say that word? When? That’s not an “if”, that’s a “when”. He loves me. I know I knew that anyway, but now I really know it. He loves me.

Thirdly, is this guy reading my damn mind? How is he doing this? How??? I don’t want a barbershop quarter, clearly. That would just embarrass me. I do want that BIG gesture though. I want him to publicly shout out his L-word. Flowers would have sufficed, you know, but the fact that he is thinking outside the box is just reminding me how great we are becoming together.

I’m clearly over-thinking this in a way that most crazy girls do, and I know that he probably hasn’t given the conversation a second thought, but this is exciting stuff! I wanted excitement and adventure and a passion like Big and Carrie in Sex and The City, and I can feel it coming. This is going to be one of those loves that hits you like a steam train. It’s going to be crazy. It’s going to be a whirlwind. It’s going to be adventurous and mental and fucked up. I can feel it. Something’s coming. You know when you just know? I just know.

Bring on the adventure.

How to Make Her Love You in 69 Days.

Well ladies & gentlemen. It has been a lovely couple of days. Yes I did spend the entire two days with him. No there was no surprise.

No there was no L-word.

Now this guy is just pissing me off.

I didn’t want him to say the L-word. I didn’t want to have that conversation. Now I wish he would just get the fuck over it and say it already. He’s playing a game. He inserted the idea into my head. I fell in love with him. I said it already when I was drunk but neither of us are counting that because I was shit-faced. I wasn’t even feeling it then. I don’t know why I said it. Now I fucking feel it and I can’t say it because he needs to say it first. He thinks I should say it first. Now we are at this weird stand-off and to make things even fucking worse; I managed to persuade him that I wasn’t into rushing things and basically told him, without actually telling him, to back the fuck off.

Well done.

I told Jock about how I think I felt rushed by OB. How things had gotten crazily outta hand really quickly, and I felt like I couldn’t get out of it at the end. What I basically told Jock was that I wasn’t into speeding things up. I wanted him to take his time and be old fashioned about things. This is a great sentiment and, at the time, I really meant it. The only problem with this is that I realized the exact moment that I fell in love with him. Whole-heartedly, jaw-droppingly, heart-stoppingly in love with him.

Have you ever seen the movie “Hotel Transylvania”?

I “zinged” with this guy.

We were in a greasy spoon café the day before. We had ordered our drinks and were drinking our coffees. He had taken me to the seaside. The seaside is my favorite place and I think that’s why he keeps taking me there. I asked him to grab us the papers that were on top of the counter and he did. Sat drinking our coffees, reading our papers, I glanced over at him and I remember thinking about how happy I was. We weren’t talking to each other. We weren’t paying each other any attention. Just drinking coffee, reading the paper. As I returned my glance back to my paper, I caught him glancing over at me out of the corner of my eye. That moment didn’t feel significant, but I keep remembering that particular moment. I started to wonder if that was the exact moment that he had fallen in love with me too. Huh? That’s it – that’s when I realized I loved him. I had a crazy conversation in my own head and it was right there like pink neon lights.

I love Jock.

It’s been 69 days. 9 weeks and 6 days since we met. I love him. I know how he’s done it too. He’s played me at the game I seem to play with all the other guys. He taunted me with it with little snippets here and there – little “surprises” and “confessions” he’s got to tell me. “L YOU” that actually supposedly meant lust instead of love. The way he looks at me. It’s hard to explain – he looks right at me. No, not at me – into me. Right into me. He looks right into my eyes and somehow right into my soul. He makes me nervous. Just one fleeting look from him and my knees buckle. My heart races. He makes me nervous. He drives me crazy. And then he kisses me. He cups my cheek with his face and pulls me towards him and he REALLY kisses me. There are no half measures with him. His kisses give me goose bumps every time. His does this thing that I may have mentioned before but I’m definitely going to mention again. He grabs my skin. He lightly caresses it and as he moves his fingers, he grabs my skin in his hands and he squeezes it. It’s usually on my leg but it can be on my rib cage, my arms, my neck… It hurts but it feels really, really good. It’s that whole pain/pleasure thing. I’ve started to associate it with him and the way he makes me feel in bed which means although it hurts, it turns me on like a mother-fucker at the same time. He has bruised my leg but I know he definitely doesn’t intend to hurt me – I just bruise like a peach. When he does it on my rib cage, it reminds me so much of My Mr. Grey –the way he used to squeeze my ribs and pull me into close to him in the way that he does.

This brings me nicely to my next point. He made a comment today that he thought people may think I was stupid for dating him because he has so many traits from the men in my past. It’s something I briefly comment on in an earlier post . It’s weird – sometimes I think he could be reading my blog. He seems to know exactly which way to play me, and the games I also play myself. He can read me like a book. The Bestie I’ve Never Had a Dalliance With said that he thought Jock could be a former follower or reader of my blog that found out who I was and tried to date me. I know this is a pretty far-fetched story, but there are coincidences that are becoming freakily common.

So… I mentioned before that I thought he was all the things I used to love the most about the men in my past rolled up into one neat, tidy little package that has grabbed my heart with both hands and won’t let go. He’s got that accent that has been a common reoccurrence in my past – the accent I didn’t realized I loved but I most definitely know I do now! The way he dresses is similar to both Big Love and the Lapdog. I have him wrapped around my little finger like the Lapdog but he keeps me running back for more and makes me work for it like Jock. Last night, we got into bed and he starts acting all coy, as if he was going to go to sleep straight away. There I was like a horny little she-devil and he’s playing hard to get. I got what I wanted, clearly. I always do. But he made me work for it and that really set things heating up.

Then in the morning he mentioned that he was very similar to the men in my past. His accent, past career, attitude, etc. This is all very true. He is very similar to the men in my past. I actually think he is all the things I used to love about the significant men in my past, all nicely wrapped up in one easy-to-use, easy-to-understand, fun-to-be-around package.

Anyway, back to heating things up. I’m back to having those sex-flashbacks I used to get with My Gr. Grey – I’m doing something completely mundane and all of a sudden – BANG! There’s that flashback of when I was straddling him on the couch and thrusted back against me as we dry-humped. He grabbed my neck and kissed me hard as he did that. He bit my lip a little bit too. It was out of this world amazing.

He made a special request in the bedroom that I ride him reverse cowgirl. I’m assuming I don’t have to explain the position but for those of you that are unsure – the chick is on top but facing the other way.

Today, I made him wait. I also made him wait for a lot longer than he managed with me. And I rode him. I sucked him. I rode him some more and then I sucked him some more. And then, as he whispered in to my ear “I’m close baby”, I got off, made him move to the edge of the bed, positioned myself nicely on his cock, facing away from his face and bounced up and down as merrily as I could. It lasted minutes before he climaxed, and climaxed he sure did! He made noises that I haven’t heard him make before. He grabbed my ass with such a force that I’m sure he has bruised me. It was toe-curling stuff and I felt like a fucking Goddess because of it.

He also requested that I sit on his face but I’ve made him aware that he is going to need to work a lot harder to get that jackpot. He has accepted his challenge like a true gentleman and I’m eager to find out what he comes up with.

So there you have it – I’ve been fucked more times than I can remember in the last two days, and I still don’t have the fucking L-word that I actually now wish he would say to me. Next time I see him, I’m gonna charm the fucking pants off this guy. I’m gonna romance him like he has never been romanced in his life.

I’m gonna get that fucking L-word out of him if it kills me.

Wicked Games.

I think Jock is playing a game with me and I don’t like it much.

He told me the other day that he had something to tell me but he would tell me later. I talk about this in He’s Gonna Say It so I won’t repeat myself again. As of yet that conversation hasn’t come back up again. I’m not bringing it up a second time – I’ve already asked him about it once.

So anyway, the other night he told me that he had a confession for me. He had definitely fallen for me. His exact words:

I can 110% officially say. I have fallen for u.

Okay. I think I’m prepared for this. Christ I’ve been talking about it for long enough. I deflected the topic like a true professional that I have become with a simple yet effective “I’m naked. Wanna see?”

A little bit of naughty chat and a couple of photos later and we said our good night’s:

L YOU

That’s what he said to me. L You? That’s the L-word right? But he’s not saying it because he doesn’t want the first time we say it to be over Whatsapp. That’s what I thought anyway. What the hell was I meant to respond to that? I went with a simple:

First of all, I think you’ll find the word is rawr. Secondly, I’m not accepting it

(Check out the “Rawr” reference here – How to Make Him Love You in 34 Days)

I just wanna be with youFuck it. Let’s do it. I really like this guy. I don’t know why I’m being all coy and holding back with him, but there’s something about him that I’m definitely not going to get bored of anytime soon. Hopefully. If he has something to say it to me, he’s going to bloody well say it to me. He’s going to say it to me face to face, like a man! I may not be prepared for the impending L-word, but I’m definitely not going to accept a half-hearted attempt at it. I want the full sha-bang. I want champagne and kisses with strawberries. I want rose petals and candles and cliché sexy-time music. I want all that. If this is the guy for me, if he’s really the next chapter in my life, give it all you damn well got! I’m not going into this half-heartedly. In fact I’m thinking about it all way too much. If this is gonna happen, it’s gonna happen right.

Well, his response to that was that the “L YOU” actually meant “Lust you”. Yeah right. Of course it did. Can you sense the sarcastic tone in my voice?

This brings me nicely to my next point.

Tomorrow night (Monday), once I’m home from work, showered, primped and preened, he is going to be pick me up. Something’s happening – it’s a surprise. He hasn’t figured out what or where yet, but it’s going to be a good surprise. I think it’s coming – this has got to be the L-Word now, surely? This is going to be the big sha-bang that I’m desperately hoping he can pull out of his ass. It’s got to be. He’s bigged things up far too much now for them it be a night at his, listening to his room-mates shout at each other. I would just like to point out that these same room-mates were the guys that moaned about our sex life. We aren’t particularly loud – the walls are just paper thin. I’m pretty sure she could have heard us blinking.

Anyway, I digress once again.

I wonder where he’s going to take me tomorrow night. I have Tuesday and Wednesday off work – incidentally the same two days off that he has. He wants me to spend Monday night to Wednesday evening with him but I’m not so sure. We’ve never done a two-night sleepover before. Are we ready for that? Am I ready for that? I can be cute and demure for 24 hours, but any longer than that and there is a good chance that he will start to see the side of me that I always try to keep behind closed doors. He might see my angry morning face which, up until now, he hasn’t had the misfortune of meeting. He might get to see my chronic insomnia which seems to have reared its ugly head over the past few nights. I might fart. I might need to poo. I can’t poo at his house yet. I just can’t do it. It’s too soon. It just feels like too much. I want to take this one slowly. I think I’m maturing. It’s not all that much fun to be honest. I think I preferred it when I was reckless with my heart and I didn’t give a shit. I always seemed to have the best adventures when I followed my heart instead of my head. I haven’t had a good adventure in a while. Maybe Jock is the guy to change all of that.

Of course, we can’t forget about My Mr. Grey who popped back into my life on his birthday to remind me of the amazing things we had done just one year ago. Following on from Today It’s August 9th and we’ve had a few chats that verged on naughty. No, let’s be honest; they were naughty. I realized that I wouldn’t have liked it if Jock had the same conversation with another girl so I just started ignoring My Mr. Grey’s texts. He knows I’m with Jock. He shouldn’t be playing with me like this. He always pops up when I am in a new relationship with someone. He did exactly the same thing with One Ball. He did the same thing with the Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of as well. Oh and he did very bad things to me (and vice versa) when I first started dating the Hubby. There will be no more of the text-sexy-time with My Mr. Grey. Nope. Not even a little bit. Sigh.

For now I had best paint the toes on my other foot, seeing as I only managed to get one of them done earlier on today and had to wear closed-toe shoes because of my weirdness and lack of time. I’m ready for whatever Jock has to throw at me this weekend. But I swear to God, if he doesn’t say the L-word after all this build up, I’m ditching him*

(*Not really. But I will be pissed!)