In the current world of dating, you will notice that it appears to be a very fast moving one, especially with the introduction of online dating sites. You meet a person, have a great evening, possibly fall in bed and then realize in the morning that you don’t have all that much in common and although you had a good night, you would rather not lead the relationship any further.
Is that bad?
One night stands seem to be somewhat of a taboo subject, even in today’s rather open-minded society. Sex is everywhere but apparently, it is still not allowed when you are not in a relationship!
I have a bunch of friends that always fight about this. There is the one girl that we shall call *Katy. She embarks on a string of one night stands, one after the other, and has a whale of a time! Then there is another girl, we shall call her *Clarissa. She hates the thought of having sex with a man that she is not in love with and refuses to have any part in any conversation regarding this topic.
Are they both right in their own ways or is there a lesson that we need to learn here?
Of course, all of my male friends are completely in love with the idea of the perfect one night stand – she comes to bed, she says goodbye, she puts herself in a taxi and leaves, preferably before the morning comes and you have the awkward conversation over breakfast. This is a stereotypical way of looking at things of course, but in my circle of friends, it is very true!
I have had my fair share of one night stands and also my fair share of longer term relationships. Sex is important in a relationship so it makes sense to “get it out of the way” as soon as possible. For example, I personally couldn’t stay in a relationship where the sex was bad. This puts me in a difficult position. I like a guy, we have a great date, I think we could progress so we wait a couple more dates before sleeping together and, go figure, the sex is bad. And I tried it a second time around too so it can’t just have been first time nerves. Should I have just slept with this man on the first date, realized it was going to be bad and cut my losses? It almost felt as if I were leading him on, only to “dump” him as soon as the bad sex happened.
I guess, in this situation, it is every man or woman for him or herself. There will always be a line – those that “one night stand” and those that don’t. For now, I shall continue to sit on the fence and let my head be my guide – if it feels right, I do it. If it doesn’t, I don’t!