How Long Does it Take to Fall in Love?

So, I have a question. Are you in a relationship? Technically, I guess I have two questions – are you in a relationship, and how long did it take before you realized you “loved” your significant other?

July 16I’ve done some research into this, mostly because I think I fall in love all over the place. I can be in love with a person, a pair of shoes, a flavor of ice cream, a dress, a handbag, a pair of earrings…. I fall in love and out of love at the drop of a hat it would seem.

Take OB, for example. One minute I thought I was falling for him in a big, big way and the next, I simply wasn’t interested to the point where I would dread the times that he used to come down and see me.

I loved The Hubby to the point where I would let him punch me in the face and get away with it, but as soon as the Big Love came along, I once again, simply wasn’t interested. We all know that I’m still in love with the Big Love. We won’t go there right now.

I mentioned before in Well That’s Never Happened Before…. Date 7 that I didn’t think it would be very long before Jock and I do the whole “L-word” thing. He told me on Date 5 that he was “falling” for me. When you think about it though; our dates haven’t been normal. We had the 11 hour first date, the 5 hour second date, the 24 hour third, fourth and fifth date, the 5 hour sixth date, and the 24 hour seventh date.

I have known him for 34 days. His first message to me was 34 days ago. In that 34 days however, we have spent an insane amount of time together. Let’s figure it out – for a couple that only see each other once, maybe twice per week, we have managed to cram in 117 hours worth of fun. In one month of knowing each other, we basically spent a six day vacation together. When you think about it that way, it just sounds plain mental, doesn’t it?

Every time I find myself getting carried away about this man, I have to bring myself back to earth with a bump. Remember chick – you thought about OB like this once upon a time. You lost interest in him quick enough to have learned a lesson. Is the same thing going to happen with Jock? Let’s hope not.

I realized with OB that I couldn’t start a new, big, real, important “LOVE” relationship with anyone new unless I was over Big Love. Am I over him? I’ve only stalked him once since I’ve been hanging out with Jock. I still stalked him though. That’s bad, right?

Sometimes I think I could be falling in love with Jock and then, at other times, I don’t really know how I feel. When he picked me up the other day for example; he had dyed the hair on his head and in his moustache red. Just because that’s the kind of thing he does. I couldn’t work out if I loved it or hated it, but I kept my opinion to myself. Later on that night, the bristles of his moustache were annoying him so he shaved it off. As soon as he had done that, I immediately realized I’m not a fan of his face without some sort of facial hair. He looks fucking hot with his weird and varied styles. It’s not something I’ve really been into before. Turns out now, I’m a moustache/facial hair kinda girl. Well, I am with him at least.

He met my Mama Bear after he had dyed his hair red and my Mama Bear told me that she thought we were “very well suited” and that he was basically the male version of me. He dyes his hair on a whim just because he can. I do that. A lot. He has a lot of tattoos. I have a lot of piercings. And a few tattoos. He has the weirdest sense of style that I’ve ever seen in a man before in my life, but somehow he has the self-confidence to totally pull it off. People have said that my sense of style is rather quirky and odd, and somehow I manage to always pull it off. It’s weird and it’s wonderful, and it’s things like this that make me think I’m falling in love. He’s quirky. I didn’t think I’d like it much. Turns out, I do.

I’m trying to play it cool but in between my bouts of playing it cool, I’m Googling things like “how long does it take to fall in love” when I’ve had a spliff and it’s too hot to do anything other than some naked star-fishin’ on the bed.

There’s not a lot of specific information about how long it takes to fall in love. This surprises me. This isn’t a topic I’ve ever really thought about Googling before, but I thought there would be more scientific experiments on the topic, especially as love makes the world go round and all that.

It makes you think – if the smartest of scientists can’t work out the exact biological patterns for falling in AND out of love, it must be a force powerful enough to defy science, right? I don’t know about you but that certainly makes me feel a whole lot better. Some of my choices when I have been “in love” have definitely been questionable. But in all seriousness – if even those clever people can’t work out the exact equations/hormone balances/time frames for falling in love, it must be as irrational and crazy as it makes us appear from time to time.

On my travels around Google trying to find an answer to the question, I noticed a lot of people talking about falling in love at first sight. Do I believe in falling in love at first sight? Have I ever fallen in love at first sight? Maybe. I’m not sure. There was a very definite connection between Jock and I on that very first date, but love? I don’t think so. I definitely wasn’t as attracted to Big Love before we started dating – his attraction grew on me as our relationship did but even now, I still think he is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.

The Hubby wasn’t love at first sight; it was lust at first sight. He was the one night stand that never fucked off, more’s the pity.

I like to think that I know whether or not I will have an actual connection with a person within a short time of being in their presence. I definitely have a connection with Jock. I can’t remember if I had a connection with OB or not, but I definitely didn’t have that connection with The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of and The Lapdog. I will always love The Lapdog, but in a different kinda way… you know? Much like the way that I will always love My Mr. Grey. To be fair, I think if I end up with any of them it will be My Mr. Grey. Or The Bestie. Who knows?

So how about you – how long did it take for you to fall in love? Are you emotionally slutty like me, giving your heart to anyone and everyone that will have it? Or are you more of a guarded person that only gives affection to the really special people?

How long does it take to fall in love?

7 thoughts on “How Long Does it Take to Fall in Love?

  1. I think it’s different with every guy….usually it takes me a long time to fall in love, but with my current boyfriend it was like a month in and I knew I loved him. I think it’s just with some people you can connect faster/easier with so it’s easier to feel in love quickly with them.

    • A month in? Well that makes me feel better. Did you say it that early though? Was you 100% sure? I’m not 100% so that suggests to me that I’m not ready quite yet. Maybe when you know, you just know? Thanks for your input though! 🙂

  2. There is no length of time. With my ex of ten years it was literally like two weeks. With The Frenchman it was probably quicker though I didn’t realise it because we went a period of 4 months without seeing each other. If you really like his guy then stuff timing x

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