I missed it!!! Yesterday was my little blog’s first birthday! The 10th July 2012, I wrote my very first post:
If you had asked me one year ago whether or not I would still be writing in it in one year’s time, I would have said no. I don’t have the attention span to keep something like this going. Well I have. And it has become so much more to me than just a blog.
I’ve mentioned before that you guys are my counselors, therapists and friends, and I appreciate and adore every like, read and re-blog that I get! Honestly, sometimes I don’t know where I would be without it!
I’ve come such a long way in a year, don’t you think? When we first met, I was seeing the Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of and pining for the Big Love. Since then, we have had dealings with My Mr. Grey, OB, The Lapdog, and many more. I don’t know if that makes me a whore and to be honest, I don’t really care. It’s my life and I guess you guys wouldn’t still be reading if you weren’t interested!
It’s been a pretty fabulous year. There have been ups and downs. I almost didn’t make it to this point with OB determined to fuck things up for me. Thankfully, he has been relatively quiet. Let’s hope it stays that way.
So… a year on and I’ve managed to go some way to rebuilding my life after my heart was so spectacularly ripped out. I’ve dated bad guys and good guys, whored myself out like only a newly single girl can do. I’m now ready, I think, to embark on the new chapter in my life. I think I am ready for a serious relationship. I had a rather odd day the other day and I feel like I should explain.
I went to get off the bus on the way to work and two older ladies, probably around 50-60, well-dressed and well-spoken, stopped me and beckoned for me to take my ear phones out of my ears. I did. One of the ladies said to me:
“I just wanted to let you know that you look lovely today. You should know that!”
It was one of the oddest moments of my life – I had never met these women before in my life. I had never clocked eyes on them before. Yet they were stopping me to tell me I looked nice. I was only in my work uniform….?
Later on that afternoon, I served an older lady in my place of work and she told me that I had helped her greatly, she was Romany Gypsy (she was an older Irish lady) and she was going to reward me for my efforts my making sure I found the love of my life.
In answer to my previous concerns about Jock in the post I’m Fucking Falling For You, I read this on my horoscopes:
He told me he was falling for me, I started to pull away, I realized that I liked him more than I thought I did and then my horoscopes say that?! That’s got to be a sign, right? Maybe the Irish Gypsy woman at work HAD helped me find the man of my dreams.
Things get worse, ladies and gentlemen. The very next day, my horoscopes said this:
I’m not really a firm believer in things like “signs” or “fate” and “destiny” but come on; something is going on here, right? Do you believe in this sort of stuff? Do you let “signs” like this determine the way that your life goes?
To be fair, I think I believe in some sort of “destiny”, perhaps not in the original sense of the word but in some sense, I do. I wouldn’t have had the life I’ve lead if I hadn’t made the choices I had made. And most of my life has been easy – I’ve always landed on my feet, somehow, and things have always kinda worked out for me rather well. I’ve done my fair share of exploring the world, sometimes on a whim, and I’ve had some amazing experiences that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have had.
I was going onto the dating app on my phone to remove my profile, and Jock text me out of nowhere. He ends up being this amaze balls cool person that I can’t get enough of. No; he’s not perfect but right now, he’s doing a pretty fabulous job to keep me entertained. Look at the dates we have gone on – we met and did the arcades at the beach, spending a pretty impressive 11 hours together. Then there was the shopping trip around our local mall, followed by some hardcore smooching in his car. The third date was our camping trip where we slept together for the first time and I realized we could really go somewhere. Our fourth date was a sleepover, followed by a trip to the zoo and our fifth date was a drunken night out followed by a lazy day on the beach.
None of our dates have been “normal”. I’ve certainly never had as much fun with a new man in my life. He’s addictive. I’m definitely addicted to him. He does make me very happy.
I think I am ready for a relationship with Jock. A REAL relationship. A proper one. Like Big Love and the Hubby. I am going to embrace whatever happens to me. If he falls for me, he falls for me. If I fall for him, I fall for him. I’m closing my eyes and diving right in. I have faith in this. I’m going to follow the signs…..