It is exactly 48 hours until Jock gets to pick me up and take me away to his crib for the night to show me the time of my life. Shit.
I’m totally not prepared for this. I don’t know if I have time to book a bikini wax and between you and me, things aren’t looking pretty down there right now. Ugh that means I’m going to need to shave. I hate shaving. I haven’t had time to buy new lingerie. What do I wear? How do I behave? I don’t even know what our date is going to consist of…
This guy is actually making me nervous. I’m nervous about sleeping with him for the first time. Are we even going to sleep together? I came up with the idea of winging it until one or the other of us feels uncomfortable and then we say stop. He agrees with the idea. Which one of us will give in first?
This is the thing about the first time you sleep with someone – it is always a really exciting experience because you don’t know what is going to happen. You have no idea what they are going to be like in bed. Are they going to be good? Are they going to be well-endowed? What about the moves – will he have them? Will I have them? Will we have as much chemistry in bed as we do out of it?
Thankfully, we have already covered a fair bit of ground. For example, I know he’s going to want me to be shaved “down there.” That works for me because I hate hair. I know he likes matching lingerie so do I go all out with stockings, panties, and bra? Or shall I wear that little cute matching number with the fluorescent pink bra and booty shorts? He’s already told me that he wants me in booty shorts. Shall I go out and buy something? See – there is always politics with sex!
What kind of outfit shall I pick out? Should I wear heels? Are we going out or is he just taking me back to his place? Are his housemates going to be in? Should I dress casual in Converse and jeans or something a bit more special, like my little black dress and cowboy boots – a current firm favorite outfit of mine?
I think I might take a bottle of wine. I’m going to be nervous and a few drinks will help. Shall I explain about the scars on my legs now, or wait and hope that he doesn’t see them? He already understands that I’m shy about myself so I’m hoping it’ll be a light’s off affair. Well, at least for the first time. I won’t relax enough to be able to climax if the lights are on, and that will just be shit for both of us. He has already made it very clear to me that my pleasure is his turn-on. Yippeeee!
Do I go in there with the expectation of sleeping with him? Or go in there knowing that I won’t and make him have to work to change my mind? I know he likes the thrill of the chase but honestly; I don’t know if I’ll have enough self-control around him to not pounce. I’ve been a horny little devil lately.
See – I love first time sex with someone because of the anticipation of it all. I like the fact that I don’t know how big his manhood is or how good he is with his hands. I don’t know what his tongue will feel like all over my body, or the way that he fucks me from behind. This is all stuff I’m super looking forward to finding out about but at the same time, he’s a new man. I don’t know what he likes. He’s not keen on the idea of BJ’s from what I can work out, and that’s going to be bad news for me. I will need to ensure he knows of my fondness for them from an early stage.
48 hours…. And I have to work both of those days as well. I’m totally not prepared for this but my mind is racing at the thought of it.
In other news, things have been very quiet. I haven’t heard from OB since the other say but I guess he’s waiting for me to tell him how much his iPad bill is. I do feel bad for him because I know he is hurting but this is what I do, isn’t it? I use one man to get over another. That’s the way I roll. I can’t help that – I’ve always been this way. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love him, does it? I don’t think it does. I certainly don’t feel about Jock the way I felt about OB and although I push the thought of OB to the back of my mind sometimes, I still have feelings for him. I just don’t think it was the sort of love that he wanted me to have for him. I can’t help that. I did try to be honest. I guess that’s something I have no control over any longer so I’m trying not to let it bug me. I’ve also decided to continue to write my blog. That’s all I’ve wanted to do since I put up my last post so OB can just go fuck himself. I won’t let him ruin it. He can do what he likes. This is mine.
So, let the preparations begin. 48 hours and counting….
Wish me luck boys & girls…. I have a feeling, with this guy, I’m gonna need it!