Well, guys & girls. It’s been an interesting kinda weekend.
I’m still crushing. In fact, I’m crushing a goodun’ right about now. Best Friend has got me thinking some bad, bad things and this lead to some pretty fucking amazing sex between OB and I. I’m still stuck in between a rock and a hard place and man, am I loving it!
Now I know how bad this sounds – I shouldn’t be having GREAT sex with OB just because of Best Friend but I can assure that it’s not that. I’m not thinking about BF when I’m sleeping with OB – I’m thinking about OB. I don’t want it to be BF that I’m screwing – I want it to be OB. Something has just come alive and I don’t know what the hell it is.
Although I couldn’t wait for OB to leave yet again, I still miss him now he’s gone. I don’t want to break up with him. It’s exactly the same as it was the last time this happened – I don’t want to be with him anymore for the entire time that he is away and as soon as he gets here, everything is fine and although he does still annoy me sometimes, it’s nowhere near as bad as I think it is. I guess that sorts that bit out; I’m not ready to break up with him and he does, in fact, still make me very happy. And our sex this weekend was amazing. I just kinda let go and went with it – a lot of my old nerves are slipping away. I hate the fact that he is breaking down my barriers but I’m loving the effect it is having on me, my mind and my body.
All of a sudden this weekend, I felt sexier than I ever had before. I pranced around naked in front of OB, I strutted my stuff in a barely there top and leggings in front of BF, I jazzed my hair up, I switched up my makeup, and I celebrated the warm weather like I owned it. I fucked OB like it was the last time we were ever going to fuck, and I realized that actually, I’m not looking so bad these days. I seem to have found this little confidence boost from somewhere deep inside of me and although I sound really big headed right now, I actually feel okay about myself.
Yes I still want to lose weight and I still have a way to go before I reach my target weight and finally get those boudoir shots that I have always dreamed about, but right now; I’m kinda happy with the way I look. My butt and legs look awesome, especially in heels. My boobs are firmer, my tummy seems flatter, my shoulders are starting to look more pronounced, and even my arms are getting more toned. I’m doing okay.
I rode him this weekend and almost made him cum. He came for the first time fucking me doggy style too. He pulled my hair, we talked dirty to each other, we kissed a thousand times more than we normally do, and it was just immense. It was more than immense, it was crazy good.
Before the night of the crazy sex, OB had picked me up from work and we travelled to a local hospital to see BF after a back operation. Armed with a Get Well Soon card, a mini picnic of chocolate éclairs and mini sausage rolls, and a night filled with Eurovision, we sat with BF all night, chatting and laughing, mocking and messing around. It was actually one of the best Saturday night’s I’d had in a long time, which is saying something.
I really like this guy. He is funny and good-spirited, an adventure junkie just like me, and mocked me in the fun, flirty way that I interpreted it to be. I don’t think he likes me like I like him. I think my mind has gone into crush overload. It definitely went into crush overload when he took his sweater off and stood before me in a tight white top that showed his pretty impressive arms, complete with veins. You know the arms I mean – strong, veiny, beautiful arms. Grrrr. He showed me the veins when we had the old injection conversation you have with everyone in hospital – the devastating stories of how difficult it was for a nurse to find a good vein, etc.
The nurse came back later on and stabbed him in the stomach with some sort of injection. The next few hours were a blur as all I can remember is him pulling up his top to show me his rock hard, slightly tanned flat stomach plus stab wound. If I remember rightly, he showed me that tummy a few times. Oh and a whole bit more when he pulled his bottoms down a bit later on to show OB something else. It was like a fucking strip show. Completely innocent to him – a total head fuck to me.
I couldn’t keep it together – I was like a giggly fucking school girl. I’m sure OB knows what’s going on. It’s fucking me up. I shouldn’t need to talk to him for a few days now so hopefully it’ll calm down a bit or I’ll figure out a way to get it under control. I stalked him a couple of times on FB as we are friends on there and every time I see a picture of him, all I could think of was that stomach, those arms, that hair…
Back to the here and now and things are okay between me and OB for now. He’s gone back up the road and I’m back to having my own space back. Oh and lusting after my Brown Bear from work. God I’m like a dog in heat right now. That’s another story for another day…
So that’s all folks. Nothing more to declare for now. How has your weekend been?