Right guys and girls, I need your help. I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place, literally. I don’t know what to do about One Ball and I. I don’t know whether I need to break up with him and just call it done, or whether I should give him the shot he probably deserves and see it through. Oh and just to throw something else into the already complicated mix, I have a massive crush on his best friend.
I’ve been texting said best friend for a few days as I’m sorting something out for him. My job involves selling something that he wants. I now appreciate that makes me sound like a hooker, but it’s must less exciting than that I’m afraid. I don’t really want to say what I do for a living but let’s just call it retail. Anyway, I’m sorting something out for OB’s best friend, for now we shall call him Best Friend. We have been texting about work and today, he came in to sort some paperwork out. I couldn’t look at him in the face. He’s not the hottest guy in the world and he’s not really my type but man, is there something about him?!
He has longer, scraggy hair, a tall, thin frame, a pouty little mouth, and a pretty good sense of style. He doesn’t talk with the accent that a lot of guys around here have, and I think he actually managed to get a half decent education. I can have an actual conversation with him. I can’t look him in the face while I talk to him, but I felt that I could still talk to him.
I wanna fuck him so bad, I don’t even know how to begin to describe it. It’s like the lust that I haven’t felt for months with anyone has all come surging back, and the entire time he was with me at my place of work, I just wanted to fall to my knees and take him in my mouth. It’s literally all I could think about it. It’s all I can think about right now and I’m sure it’s something I’ll be thinking about when I get into bed later on.
What the fuck is up with this? I’m in the process of trying to work out whether or not I want to still be with my boyfriend and all I can think about is fucking his best friend. I’m not just talking buddy – I’m talking his ACTUAL best friend. Fuuuuuck.
I can’t see OB and I working out at all. The thought of him coming down this weekend actually fills me with the dread and the only reason I’m looking forward to him coming down is so that I can get laid in the first time in weeks. The only problem with that theory is that I had some rather infuriating stomach cramps earlier on today at work, which suggests to me that Mother Nature is going to put a bloody great big dampener on my fuck-filled weekend.
The lust that I once felt for OB has completely gone. The interest that I had for him seems to have disappeared completely. It’s like I literally lost interest in him overnight. He didn’t do anything wrong, aside from turning into a jealous, paranoid boyfriend, but yet he still can’t hold my attention. We reached the six month mark and he completely fell off my radar.
I’m torn right now. Part of me wants to stay with him and see where things go. We do have a lot of fun together and he does have a pretty fabulous cock, but he takes far too long to cum, giving him a blowjob doesn’t appear to be happening as I want it to and I just can’t live that way, and on top of that, I faked it the last time he was here because I knew, for sure, that he wasn’t going to make me cum. I didn’t just fake it the once either. This terrifies me – I’ve never been a woman to fake it. Ever. If it’s not happening, I take control or sort myself out once he has finished and needs a break. I’m not the sort of girl to fake it. What the fuck is happening to me?
He has kids. He has had the snip. He doesn’t want any more kids. He doesn’t want to get married. I don’t want those things either but it would be nice to know that if I ever changed my mind, there would be a chance for me to do something about it.
He has kids. Come on – those fuckers are always going to bug me. They could be the cutest little darling’s ever to have walked the planet and I’d still hate them. Ew.
We’re not going to work out, are we? There are just too many things that aren’t right about him for me. There are always going to be flaws. I’m scared that Big Love set the bar so high, no other guy is ever going to be able to come close. Am I ever going to be able to care and love for someone as much as I loved him? I certainly don’t love OB that much and I can honestly say that I don’t think I ever, ever will. Does that mean that OB isn’t right for me, or just that we have a different kind of love to what I had with the Big Love?
He has bought me the shoes I talked about in my previous post. He actually ordered them for me. They are hand painted, completely customized, one of a kind shoes and he has bought them for me. There is a waiting list of about 8 to 12 weeks but he bought them for me. If we broke up, he wouldn’t give them to me and that would make me really sad. Like uber sad. It would break my heart. Not that I’m saying that I would stay with him for the shoes but it seems a shame that I wouldn’t have a pair of shoes to remember him by. I seem to have a pair of shoes that reminds me of everyone else.
Really guys, what do I do? I’m going to let him come down this weekend, just to see how I feel when he is down here. If it is anything like the last time, my feelings of wanting to break up completely disappeared when he was here. He annoyed me, of course, but I didn’t completely hate that he was here.
I don’t know what to do. Advice please?