The Tug-of-War.

I think I’m pulling away from OB. See here I go – I’m creating drama for the sake of creating drama, because there is nothing dramatic going on in my life.

Everything is going so breezy. Well with him it is anyway. We aren’t fighting. There is nothing wrong. Everything is fine. And I’m getting bored.

We had another awesome few days, and by awesome, I mean actually amazing. We laughed so much. We watched films. We spent all day Monday in our pyjamas, eating junk food, him drinking vodka and me smoking a spliff. It was lazy, sweaty, involved a fuck load of sex, and I adored every second of it. As much as I love the whirlwind surrounding him, and the mini adventures he gives me, sometimes it’s just nice to sit down and do absolutely nothing with him. He would be watching a film or playing on his X-Box and I’m sat on the computer doing some writing work or whatever. We were just in each other’s company, not saying anything, not communicating in any way, and it felt so right; so comfortable. However, at various points throughout the past few days, I could feel myself pulling away and I had no idea why.

I first felt it when we were lying on my bed watching a film. He pulled me in close and I had to pull away. I also felt it the last night he was here. Every time he tried to pull me close, I pulled right away, and we didn’t have sex that night or the next morning.

To be honest, we had so much sex the first day and a half that he was here, the rest of the time was painful. We couldn’t have full sex as we were both very sore. It was a lot of amazing sex and… I dressed up for him!

I wore a halter-neck black bra, a frilly, wider-styled thong and a set of fishnet hold ups with the seam down the back. I wore them under my clothes and gave him a little peek at my stocking-clad feet before we headed out for our McDate. This has become a “thing” for us – the McDate. We basically head to McDondalds and stuff our faces before heading back to mine for cuddles and a movie. It’s cute and I love it.

He IS a stocking man! I knew it! The look in his face when he pulled off my jeans and saw my legs in all their fishnet glory was priceless. It made me feel a million bucks. We had great sex with me in those stockings – he didn’t even make it to giving me head – he came inside me and it was glorious.

I actually meant to wrap the stockings up and place them discreetly in his bag for him to discover when he got home, but he awoke too late and I totally forgot. I decided that I’m going to send them to him in a little parcel – spritz them with my favourite perfume, wrap them in pretty pink tissue paper, and send them with a lipstick-finished lipstick note reminding him that I love him. Cute, huh?

Things are so perfect with us. I just don’t get what’s going on right now. I originally wanted him to leave Tuesday evening, then it was Wednesday morning and now I wish he had stayed to wake up with me tomorrow morning – Valentine’s Day.

I did try to get him to stay for the extra night, but he had already sorted something with the kids and he was excited to see them I think. It has kind of pissed me off – I really wanted to wake up next to him on Valentine’s Day morning.

I can see myself fucking this up just for the sake of it and I really don’t want to do that. We are just going along so swimmingly that it’s almost TOO perfect. I can’t seem to relax – I’m always waiting for something to go wrong or for there to be some kind of bizarre drama going on. Why can’t I just be comfortable with OB? Maybe this is a relationship that is not sent to destroy me?

He still makes me flutter, and his texts still make me smile. His cock still excites me, and just the bare touch of his finger on the outline of my breast gives me goosebumps all over.

Get it together girl – this guy is virtually perfect.

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