So OB and I had a conversation. It started with the film 10 Things I Hate about You and then ended with us listing the things we hated about each other. This is probably a dangerous conversation for many couples to have, but for us it just seemed normal. Just like everything else does.
This is what his list consisted of by the end of our three and a half hour Facetime chat. Yes, we really do have that many things to talk about. And apparently that kind of time to waste too. It’s not quite 10 so I settled for 5.
- I smoke.
- I can’t take a compliment.
- I worry about saying and doing certain things in case it freaks him out/worries him.
- I won’t let him cook in my kitchen.
- I start a sentence and then trail off and stop. Apparently I can never finish a conversation.
I can agree with most of those things. I am a smoker and I can’t take a compliment. I don’t really worry about saying or doing certain things to him though – I’m just more guarded these days. I should probably work on that. The cooking in my kitchen thing is a weird thing I have. Whenever someone tries to make food or drinks in the kitchen while I’m in there, I have this obsessive need to completely take over and control. It has started many fights and I’m pretty sure it’s ended a relationship or two. I’m always forgetting how the ends of my sentences are supposed to finish too. I think it has something to do with the weed I smoke.
After his list, I barely managed to scrape together one thing on a list of things I hate about him. We had some naughty conversation and said our Good Night’s. I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep. Could I seriously not think of a single thing that was bad about him? Surely he can’t be that perfect. After a bit of scrabbling around in my always over-tired brain, I managed to compile a list:
- His spelling is ridiculous.
- He doesn’t have Facebook. At times I quite like this about him though – it means that things are more easily hidden and forgotten about. I do miss the Facebook love hearts you send to each other in the first throes of love though – those very public bursts of affection that we all want to mimic vomiting at. Yes I’m THAT girl. And I miss that.
- He is too open about certain subjects for my liking. Poo, for example. He openly talks about it and farts, too! I have farted a few times in front of him now but it still feels wrong doing it. To be honest I think I just force-squeak out a couple to make him think that I am more comfortable than I am. Everyone comes hand in hand with these odd squeaking noises that farts have a tendency to make when you’re really trying hard to squeeze those fuckers out. It’s almost as if it’s not a real fart. You know?
- The kisses. Actually this isn’t as much of a big deal as it probably was at the beginning of our thing. He is a bit sloppy and I wish he was a bit less forceful at times but to be honest, I think our kisses are adapting to work together. Or I’m starting to like his sloppy technique. I’m not sure which.
- He has five kids. Enough said really.
- He doesn’t really give a shit about his appearance sometimes and I wish he did. I know he doesn’t really have the time or the money to be out fashion shopping but at the same time, I wish he cared a little more about up and coming trends. Is that too much to ask?
- His blowjobs don’t result in him cuming in my mouth. This annoys me. He takes an age to cum too. Like all the time. It’s annoying sometimes.
- Our schedules aren’t synced. He gets up (generally) earlier than me in the morning and he goes to bed before I’ve even done my first yawn at night. I sometimes wish he was a Night Owl like me. But then again I wouldn’t wish this sleeplessness on anyone.
- He eats so much food and he’s still so skinny. It’s going to cost me a fortune to feed him and I hate him for being so skinny.
- He’s far too polite and wary in bed. Sometimes I just want to be fucked hard. Sometimes I want it to be a fast, furious quickie with me bent over the stairs and him furiously fucking me from behind. Rip my clothes, spank my ass and pull my hair. There’s no room for manners in my bed.
That list isn’t so bad, right? It took me a long time to come up with those ten things too. I’m justifying myself now. Is that too many bad points to make a successful relationship?
Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to come up with the negatives if I weren’t going to counteract with some positives. I decided that ten negatives were too high and I needed to counter them out. I managed to come up with the next list surprisingly easily:
- I love his cuddly romantic side even though it pisses me off at the same time. I love that we fall asleep with his arms quite literally wrapped around me.
- He takes an active interest in whatever I’m doing. If its furniture stuff for the business or writing in my blog, which he still assures me he hasn’t read, he takes an interest. Do you have many followers? I saw this wicked furniture renovation technique today on Pinterest! (Yes he has Pinterest!) I found this table today so I carried it home for you. See – he’s perfect really!
- He actually listens to me and remembers what I’ve said. I’ve never met a man that remembers as much stuff as he does. It’s mental.
- Sex. Penis. Two in one. Wow. Enough said.
- He would do anything for me. Both a good thing and a bad thing, I guess? It’s nice now though. It makes me smile.
- He makes me feel good about myself. No, wait. Even better than that – he makes me feel fucking sexy! The way he looks at me, the things he says and the way he groans in that way he does when I’m doing something hot for him – that’s the sexiest thing in the world.
- His love for his kids is still a novelty for me and it actually makes me love him that little bit more.
- Equality – he lets me pay for stuff. He lets me treat him. He does the same back to me. It’s fifty/fifty, straight down the middle. It’s refreshing not to be with an Alpha Male that MUST pay for things, etc.
- He is open to my ideas. He lets me pick out colognes for him because he doesn’t have a clue what’s “in”. He also likes some of my fashion tips and closet addition ideas. It’s refreshing to have a guy not argue with me over what I think will look good.
- He doesn’t want to change me. At all.
Now when you balance out my negatives with my positives for him, I reckon we have a pretty good shot at this. Yeah some things really piss me off but he makes me truly happy too. And for now, that’s enough for me.
What about you? Could you come up with ten really good and bad points for your partner or partners? Would it be even or is that list of negatives telling you something that you can’t see yourself?