It’s 6 sleeps until I see OB again but it’s not him I was dreaming of last night. Oh no ladies & gentlebugs; The Big Love has made a reappearance.
It’s been a while since he popped into my life again and I guess it was only a matter of time before I thought about him. I was in bed. It was 3am and I couldn’t sleep… AGAIN. Insomnia has hit me once again. Thanks for fucking my pattern up OB!
I was doing that thing you do when you can’t sleep – I let my mind wander. I let my mind wander back to the time where The Big Love was sulking downstairs in bed as I was upstairs on the couch jerking off. I had tried to have sex with him and he said no. He used to hold sex over me like nothing else I had ever experienced. He even told me once that he wanted us to stop having sex until we had sorted the rest of our relationship out. If I wanted it, he would hold it just out of my reach, making up every little excuse that he could to avoid sleeping with me. I’d ask him if he would turn the light off and as he did so, he would say the words “I was going to have sex with you tonight but now, because you couldn’t even turn the light off, I’m not! I hope you’re happy!” That was what he did right at the end. It was nothing short of brutality.
Anyway, this particular night I had stormed upstairs to the couch, grabbing my rabbit as I did so. It was only a few minutes of me happily buzzing away when I heard him quietly come up the stairs. As he got to the top, I saw him – he had his grey boxer shorts on and I could quite clearly see his massive erection beneath them. He didn’t even say a word, he just walked over to me and put his cock in my mouth. It was a moment I had dreamed about so many times as I lay on the couch, desperately trying to get myself off to spite him. We had sex right there on the couch. It was fast, it was furious and it was well-needed. It was like the sex OB and I had on the last night he was here, right after I dashed to the bathroom and removed my tampon. Fuck it was hot.
I must have fallen asleep with that thought of The Big Love and I on the couch in my head because the next thing I knew, it was 9am and I had awoken, playing with myself after the most vivid dream I’ve ever had about Big Love. In fact, the most vivid dream I’ve ever had PERIOD.
I was soaking wet. Like actually dripping wet. I was hot and clammy. My chest was scorching hot. My breath was rapid. My heart was racing. I was on the brink of orgasm. I did what any other normal person would have done – I finished getting myself off to the dream that I had just woken up from.
OB was in my dream. He was watching Big Love and I through a crack in the door. Big Love had flown across from the other side of the world and somehow ended up in my bedroom, at the end of my bed, telling me how much OB wasn’t going to keep me happy and how he was my “safe” choice. I was defending OB in my dream. Big Love crawled over to me and was laying between my legs, face just inches from mine, holding himself over me with his powerful arms. He kept telling me that only he could give me the sex I wanted, that he knew OB didn’t kiss me right, and how that he knew I wanted him right there and it was only a matter of time before I just gave in.
I wasn’t aware that OB was watching us through the crack in the door. The next thing I knew, Big Love and I were kissing furiously and our clothes were being tugged from our hot bodies. He held his cock just millimeters away from me and looked dead in my eyes: “You know when this happens it’s going to be amazing?” I nodded. I could feel his heat. Ohhhh! He thrust into me with such force, I was pushed up the bed, hands desperately grabbing for the sheets, grabbing for anything to hold on to. I woke up.
My back was arched, almost as if mimicking the shape of my body pushed up the wall in my dream. I have never had a dream quite so real; so vivid. It was amazing. My body was hot in exactly the places he had his hands in the dream. It was like he was actually there in the bed with me and just disappeared as I awoke. Once I had finished bringing myself to an EARTH SHATTERING orgasm, I thought about what had just happened. I haven’t jerked off about Big Love since we were together – what the hell was he doing in my masturbatory memories bank now? Why was that dream so vivid? Why did it have such an impact on me? I remember it just as clearly now as I did when I woke up. I thought you were meant to forget dreams? I know I always do usually.
What’s up with the whole OB watching us thing too? Is this my head telling me that I should pursue Big Love and leave OB behind? Is it a warning for things to come? Is Big Love going to pop back into my life again, perhaps not quite as surprisingly as turning up on my doorstep, but maybe by a Facebook message or something? What the fuck? If dreams are supposed to mean something, I dread to think what this one means?!
The worst thing of all, of course, is the fact that I masturbated to this dream of Big Love again just half an hour ago. I got horny in the middle of a conversation with OB and left the phone on the chair while I climbed on top of the bed, smoked a doobie and bought myself to another earth shattering orgasm, even more so than this morning. All while thinking of Big Love holding his cock millimeters from my soaking wet pussy.
OB is going to be here in 6 sleeps. I need to get out of this Big Love wank scenario right now. I can’t do this when he is here – he already knows I talk and play with myself in my sleep. If I am jerking off while muttering Big Love’s name, things are going to get mighty awkward.
Anyone out there a dream specialist? Does anyone want to fill me in what the fuck this is meant to mean?