I have a few things that I want to get off my chest. Firstly, I don’t talk about the Bestie I’ve never had a dalliance with, and I believe that he deserves a bigger part in my blog. He certainly consumes a bigger part of my life than I lead you to believe.
He’s been my best friend for over ten years now. We had the same circle of friends, and I actually think the first time we met, we both thought it might just be a casual hook-up. We made out for a while under the stars outside the pub that night, but we didn’t sleep together. From there, we found a beautiful friendship.
I love him with every part of me. I don’t love him like a brother, or a boyfriend, or a relative. I love him like I love him, and that’s just that. I have left this guy behind, for all the various men in my life, more times than I care to remember, and I really do hope that I don’t have to leave him again. My life seems to fall apart and me along with it when the Bestie I’ve never had a dalliance with is not in it. Hey, that rhymed!
We’ve had a few questionable nights – nights we have been drunk and heavy/hardcore made out. There was one night, two years ago by the river, in his car that something was going to happen for sure. There was a second between kisses as were trying to rip of each others clothes off, that we both looked up and realized what we doing. Let’s just say we backed down pretty quick, and went our separate ways. There have been a couple of nights similar to that, but that was the closest we had ever gotten I think.
The Bestie I’ve never had a dalliance with is a massive part of my life, and even when I’m mad at him, I’m not really mad at him. He’s seen me at my best and my worst, rich and poor, happy and sad. He still loves me. And he keeps all my secrets.
People tell us that one day we will end up together, and although that thought pops into my head sometimes when the Bestie and I are doing something funny or cute, I don’t think it’s ever going to be that way for us. Maybe we will. Maybe we won’t. He’s my Bestie and I love him.
Secondly, I stalked Big Love again. Just the once. And his girlfriend, Miss. A. is actually really fat. Score!
Thirdly, I really do think I have a crush on my new manager at work. It’s still only a little one. He popped into my head while I was masturbating earlier. It was pretty hot. I’m not sure what’s up with that… he’s not even hot!?!?!
Fourthly, I’m scared to have Skype sex with my boyfriend. It’s been hinted at for the past few days, and he asked me earlier on today – “Do you want to have Skype sex later on?” I made a joke out of it, of course; that’s what I do in situations I’m uncomfortable with. This seems like a lot of work right now. I’m going to have to shave. I’m going to need to pull a sexy little lingerie set out of my box of tricks to make it look like I walk around like that all the time. I’m going to need to do my hair. And my makeup. And then I’m going to have to fake it on Skype to him, because we all know I’m going to get stage fright and not be able to cum as it will be our first time. When did I turn into such a pussy? I Skype-sexed with the Big Love all the time. I might just go out. We’ll deal with this another time.
And one more thing – I have planned for my next weekend to go up the country and see said boyfriend for the second week in January. He is going in for “the snip” two days before I am due to go up there, and neither of us realized this until last night. Fuuuuuck. I don’t even have a Nurse’s outfit. He asked me if I would still go up there even if we couldn’t have sex. I know the right answer to that question; that’s the answer I gave him. Ladies and gentlebugs – I am travelling two and a half hours up the country for a fucking cuddle. I must be bonkers. My vagina is screaming out for a good fucking, and it’s going to get a half hearted lick and a poke because every time he touches me, he’s going to get a boner and this will hurt his bruised balls. This does not sound like my idea of fun. Neither does playing his damn nurse maid. That’s not exactly my style. Begrudgingly, I’m going up there. But it’s only because I “L” word him.
By the way, it still hasn’t been said. Pffft.