I’m fucked. I’ve fallen for One Ball. Do you want to know when I realized that? It was that exact moment when I worked late, he called and I missed it. I managed to end up speaking to him for a few minutes by the time I got a chance to call him back, and because of the nature of his job, the two week course meant that he would be in his sleeping bag before I even thought about getting home from work and being free to talk again. I guess you’ve probably figured it out – he’s in the military, and he’s away on a training exercise. It means that by the time I get home from work, he’s usually sleeping already, and the ridiculous hour that he needs to get up is when I’m in the land of Nod.
I have all the symptoms – I’m checking my phone every five minutes, as well as the messaging app that we use to see when he last had a signal and was online. Every time my phone beeps, I rush right to it, hoping he has text me. I’m avoiding being busy at certain times in the evening just in case he calls. I got it baaaaad.
We have arranged for some time at his next weekend. I managed to get the entire weekend off work, and his exercise will be done Friday afternoon. So, I’m getting the train (all by myself – this should be hilarious) to where he is, and spending two nights up there before coming back down to mine on Sunday. It’s a two and a half hour journey – I’m taking two lots of birth control pills to make sure I don’t come on my period, and you KNOW that is going to happen! That’s a long way to go for a good shagging.
I am so excited, I actually can’t contain myself. I don’t know if it’s because I get to travel for a weekend – I’m an adventure junkie and it’s been a while since my last big adventure, or if it’s because I get to spend the time with him. Perhaps it is a bit of both? Either way, I’m practically packed already. I’m planning a kinky night in – I’ll be wearing sexy lingerie under my clothes, ready for him to delve right into. I’m going to pop my love balls in when I get on the train – all the better to be ready and wet for when he collects me from the train station. I’m also taking a goody bag of tricks and delights, to blow his pretty little mind!
I’m even thinking of avoiding personal grooming until then, and getting a wax for him. I’m usually an “all-off” kind of girl, but he said a while back that he would prefer a little hair, so I’m thinking about a surprise landing strip….. Yes, I know. I have it baaaaad! I’m thinking of having pubic hair for the first time in 12 years for this man.
We met on the 11th September for the first time. We had been chatting for a while via text (we met on an online dating site) but that was the first time we actually spoke. He came to see me while on a break from work and we had a quick bite to eat. Apparently since that date: 71 days, 10 weeks or 2 and a half months, I have managed to fall for him. And although I’m not at the “I Love You” stage just yet, it is literally a matter of weeks away. I CANNOT stop thinking about this man. I check my phone the second I wake up to see if he has text me. I run whenever I hear my phone beep. I’m wishing the days away until I get to go up and see him. What the hell happened? It’s been like a slap in the face. One minute The Big Love was all I could think about, and now it’s One Ball that is consuming my mind. And my heart.
Two and a half months…. Is that long enough to start thinking about the big “L” word? Should I have such strong feelings towards him already? Isn’t it too soon for all this bullshit? I was with The Guy I couldn’t get rid of for like 4 months and I was nowhere this close to him. I never once thought about saying those three little words to him. How can I already feel like saying it, or at least being the closest I’ve been for a very long time, just two and half months in? Is there even such a thing as “too soon” when it comes to the “L” word?
Everything within me is telling me that this is a dangerous situation and I should get out. He has kids. He can’t spell. He isn’t tall enough for me. He doesn’t dress as I think he should. He’s not the tall, dark, arrogant dick I always go for. The Bestie keeps telling me One Ball is “punching well above his weight.” I’m ashamed of this but sometimes I think he might well be telling the truth. He doesn’t smoke. He’s secretive. He has two exes with kids that he is regularly in contact with. I’m not over The Big Love. I’m not ready for a relationship yet. My Mr. Grey. All those negatives yet still I feel so strongly about him.
I’m in trouble.