I Think I’m Falling.

I think I may be in trouble. I think things with One Ball have gotten serious. He has gone back to his normal place of work, a few hours from here, and he’s all I can think about. He came to see me yesterday while I was at work to say good bye, and it was almost painful. It’s only going to be two weeks until I see him – he’s gone back to his normal town for good, and he’ll be going away for two weeks on a course, so I won’t have much communication with him, and I miss him. It has barely been 24 hours, but I think I’ve got it bad. I think the guy that lied; the guy I wasn’t that into just a few weeks ago is stealing my heart, and I am shitting my pants.

He saw this funny picture on the internet that he wanted to send me, but the wording was wrong, so he drew me the picture, changed the wording, and sent me a photo of that instead:

Imagine the “Like” was “Love” and you have the original. He said he didn’t want to scare me away so he changed the wording. He also told me that he is hooked on me, and with me everything is so natural and effortless. It sounds like he’s got it bad too.

What does this mean? How can I have gone from kinda liking him but not being that bothered, to not being able to stop thinking about him in just a couple of weeks? We have been dating for about two months now… How has this happened? Is it lust? Or am I finally opening my heart after the Big Love to something more serious? I never felt like this with the Guy I couldn’t get rid of…. Is One Ball special?

He was right about one thing – aside from the lies; everything IS so natural and effortless with him. We are pretty well matched when it comes to personality and sense of humor, and we definitely make a great team in the bedroom. For the record, I still haven’t made him cum in my mouth. Well, we kind of did but it was cheating. Another 45 minute blowjob and I was as wet as anything. THAT time of the month meant we couldn’t fuck, but I could grind on top of him and bring myself to orgasm through my underwear while he tugged himself off. As mutual masturbation sessions go, this one was particularly hot, and I came hard! So did he when he finally finished, thankfully, in my mouth. He bit my lip as I came, and just so you are aware – this makes you gush like a freaking geyser.

Our sex life is amazing, especially when you consider that we don’t actually get together that often, and even our long distance fucking is fabulous – last night I dressed up in my sexy little PVC number and highest, hottest heels and took photos for him, while he sent videos of himself jerking off. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but he makes me want to do things I haven’t been brave enough to do for years. I remember dressing up in a maids outfit once, and when the Big Love came home, I was suggestively bent over the kitchen counter “cleaning”. Unfortunately, he had a fight with the ex-wife that day and barely looked at me before getting in the shower and beating himself off. That kind of experience will make any girl shy away from suggestively dressing up for her partner!

One Ball makes me braver than I’ve ever felt before – I fuck with the lights on, I was open with him about the scars on my legs, I dressed up for him… Maybe this is the “real deal?” Or maybe it’s a fake kind of intimacy you get when someone worships the ground you walk on; something he clearly does. He repeatedly tells me he doesn’t deserve me and can’t believe his luck when we’re out together. He can’t keep his hands off me, both in the bedroom and out in public, and I’m not going to lie; he makes me feel like I’m a fucking Goddess. This is something that very few men, especially recently, has managed.

Maybe I should just embrace whatever it is that is going on here. After all if it makes me happy, and I’m having a good time, what’s the harm in just going with the flow? Yes, he may have lied a couple times about his past situations, but that doesn’t make him a bad person, does it? I think our honesty session a little while ago has bought us closer together. It’s certainly been pretty breezy ever since.

Who knows what’s happening here – it could be a real feeling. It could be that I’m finally ready to love again after the shocking debacle that was the Big Love. Then again, it could be a confidence boost that I need to get back out there. Whatever it is, I’m going with it. If I don’t try, I’ll never know, right?

6 thoughts on “I Think I’m Falling.

  1. Aw, yeah, I’d say that pic means he has it bad too, LMAO 😉 I had a bad experience with dressing up for my ex husband that makes me nervous about it too. It’s hard to take rejection when you’ve gone all out to try and please. :/

  2. Oh it happened repeatedly with the Big Love. I remember one night I lit tea-light candles all the way from the front door, down the stairs, to the bathroom and all around the bath to lead him to a naked me in a bubble bath for when he got in from work. He sat upstairs so I text him from the bath and he ignored it 😦 He was kinda mean when I think about it. It makes me very reluctant to do stuff like that for a partner… With One Ball it’s different though. I know he’d totally appreciate it, whatever “it” was! I reckon we both got it bad xoxo

  3. OMG! I’m so excited for you… He sounds awesome, and that drawing is so cute! DAMMIT! Those bastards! Hahahah. EMBRACE IT GIRL. Like one of my wisest friends says; “how can one go through life and not let oneself live? How can one numb oneself purposely when other people strive to feel?”

  4. Go for it but keep your eyes open as the saying goes. That’s a lot of kids. Personally I wouldn’t want to be with someone who neglects their children. But if he is present in their lives that’s a good thing. I have a kid and her dad is schizophrenic. A long story. My point is fathers are important. How does this guy treat you? That’s how to judge. Your writing is so brave. I couldn’t do it. Good for you.

    • Hi Emma and thanks so much for your comment!

      He doesn’t neglect his kids – that’s one of the best things about them. He sees them all, and pays for them too!

      He treats me like a Princess. I actually couldn’t ask for anything more. Aside from the lies and the bad spelling, there is actually nothing else major wrong with him…. Maybe I’ll figure out there is in time!

      Thanks again, and happy reading 🙂

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