Questions, Questions, Questions… Again!

Many thanks to PiperBlue26 for directing me to the other nomination for the Liebster Blog Award so that I could answer those questions too! I seem to get lost in a sea of blogs once I start reading, so the assistance was much appreciated!

Carrying on the game, I am going to answer the 11 questions as suggested on The Liebster Award by Piper Blue:

  1. Cats or Dogs? I’m a cat person really, but I love certain dogs too! I am a sucker for a pretty kitty – I’ve had three Siamese cross breeds, and I’d love a purebred. I also love Bengal kitties, and the F1 Savannah cat, which is a ridiculous amount of money. Dog-wise, however, I want a Pug and a British Bulldog.
  2. What is your favorite city or country you have ever visited, and why? I love every place I have traveled to for different reasons, but my favorite would be Canada. It’s the most beautiful place in the world, with every scenic picture that you could imagine. There is nothing this country doesn’t have. The snow, the cold, the heat, the wind, the mountains, the wildlife, the outdoors-y way of life… Everything about this country I adored, and one very special part of it – The Big Love.
  3. Favorite beverage? I’m a sucker for a glass of champagne. I love Veuves Cliquet especially. I drink most things though, and I love a glass of wine. Throw me a Jaeger-bomb and I’ll show you how it’s done!
  4. What are your three favorite books/authors?  (If you’re not much of a reader, shame on you, but I’ll accept movies.) Ooooh this is a tough one. I love Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. I touched on this briefly in another post as well. Number two would have to be fifty Shades of Grey – only the first one though; the final two books were very repetitive and lost the edge for me. The third one would have to be Bridget Jones’ Diary – for obvious reasons 😉
  5. What color are your eyes? Blue/grey – they change color a lot.
  6. What is your favorite thing about yourself, or your biggest strength? I am a very generous person and I would spend my last fiver on someone if it meant making them smile. I find myself too generous sometimes and it pisses me off – I seem to always buy lunches or drinks at work, I’m always giving someone a “spare” cigarette….
  7. Which of the 7 deadly sins fits you best – Lust, Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy, Pride, or Greed? LUST. Enough said.
  8. If you had to spend the rest of your life in either the Arctic, with below-freezing days and even colder nights, or in the desert, with temperatures above 100 degrees every day, which would you choose? I’ve done both of these within the space of a year. The war zone was hot and dry, and the other side of the world was bloody freezing. As much as I love the hot weather and a good sun tan, I loved the cold weather. This is a really tough one! I’m going to go with….. the Arctic!
  9. What is your favorite holiday, and why? I loathe and love Christmas at the same time, which is a weird place to be in. A lot of bad stuff tends to happen to me around Christmas, which is one reason why I hate it, but at the same time, I love getting dressed up and wearing ridiculous reindeer sweaters with bulbous flashing earrings, giving gifts and being with the ones I love. I think Christmas has been tainted for me over recent years, but here’s to hoping this one will be better!
  10. Who was your very first crush, and how old were you? My first crush, unless you are counting Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire, who I had a major crush on in high school, was a guy I later fucked once school was over and out. This guy was Number 6. He was hot, tanned, ripped, a little bit of a nut job, and while we were at school, completely out of my league. At school, he was a bit of a jerk, especially to me. It turned out that he wasn’t that great in bed, and the night was soon forgotten about. Still, I liked him, I wanted him and I got him. I really am a spoiled princess.
  11. If you became immortal and had to be one age for the rest of eternity…what age would you choose, and why? I absolutely loved being 19 years old, but I think 21 is a better age to be. You are technically legal to do whatever you want, but at the same time, still young enough to be a fool. I wish I could be 21 again – there are so many other things I wish I had done!

11 questions, 11 answers – done! Another great set of questions! I love answering these little things as they really get me thinking. Let’s just hope there are more awards so I can answer more questions 🙂

Sex On Your Period?

I came across this fabulous post from Mia FantasticA Letter to Mother Nature, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Aside from pissing out cranberry juice right now, as she so nicely put it, it made me laugh. And let’s face it: when it’s that time of the month, you just need a good laugh. And a shot gun.

I am going away this weekend to go and see One Ball, two and half hours from here. I plan on it being a crazy two-day fuckfest, with nothing but nakedness and kinky fuckery, but apparently, Mother Nature had other godamn plans for me. She decided, with all her fucking glory, to give me “The Blob.


I should have known it was coming – I was an emotional wreck. I cried about the Big Love for days on end. I have also had that dull ache in my abdomen for a couple of days, but I have recently changed my pill, and random spotting and menstrual cramps seems to be one of the major side effects. This morning however, I woke up and trotted downstairs to make my morning cup of tea and use the bathroom, and there it was – that telltale sign in my underwear that I would not be getting laid this weekend. What the fuck? The only weekend I have planned in months and Mother Nature screws me over? Go figure!

Now, I know what you are thinking – how could you not have known that you were going to come on soon? You’re on the pill, so surely you know when it is coming? No, ladies and gentlemen; my new pill appears not to be agreeing with my body as everyone said it would, and instead prefers to make me bleed randomly; anytime it fucking chooses.

I decided to have a stab back at Mother Nature however – I took two birth control pills today, and I will be doing the same tomorrow. My period WILL stop. My hormones might be up the creek, but at least my vagina will be happy after finally getting sex this weekend for the first time in what feels like FOREVER!!!

If I had been in a long term relationship with One Ball, I would have just given him head, let him put his cock in my ass, or just had sex with him in the shower. However, we have only been dating for a couple of months, so sex on the period is definitely a no-no as far as I’m concerned. To be fair, I don’t really like doing it anyway – it grosses me out! I don’t like what streams from my body, so I certainly don’t want anyone else to see it!

I agree with what Mia Fantastic said though – I am currently in crazy bitch mode, ready to kill anyone that dares to talk to me without a coffee in their hands. I also want to fuck anything that moves. This morning before work, I got myself off three times, and that was before I had even thought about my morning cuppa. Thankfully, the blob had only just started so there was no mess for me.

What are your views on sex during a period? I guess for the long-termers, it is nothing to worry about, much like shaving your legs as regularly as you used to when you first started dating, or removing your makeup before you go to bed. However, I’m still in that stage of the relationship where he hasn’t even seen me without makeup on, so he certainly won’t be seeing what Mother Nature is offering out to him!

As much as I REALLY appreciate the monthly shout-out to make me aware that my stupidity during drunken nights hasn’t gotten me up the duff, I would much prefer a text or a tweet. I could even deal with just the cramps if it meant there was no mess involved. I don’t see why we have to go through the horrors of periods PLUS childbirth PLUS the unbelievable amount of fucktard men there are out there, and the guys don’t even get so much as ball-ache!

I can’t wait for the menopause. In fact, I am relishing the day where my vagina dries up and I no longer have to worry about leaving the house with a tiny handbag because my tampons wouldn’t fit alongside my cell phone. And yes Mia – vibrating tampons would be fucking awesome. Let’s start a petition!

I also disagree with the cost – how come condoms are free, despite the ridiculously fucking high rates of teenage pregnancy STILL happening, yet I have to pay for the smallest piece of cotton wool, wrapped up into a fluffy white bullet, to shove up my vagina because Mother Nature thinks I should have children one day? Surely this should be an opt-in thing? Imagine the last day of High School – do you want children one day, yes or no? Tick yes and you will have a fist clenching your insides for a whole week of the month, while dispelling clumpy blood from your special place until the day you actually get pregnant, and then you have 18 years of hell ahead of you. Tick no, and you will be in for a life of frivolity, passionate sex with no worries of coming on halfway through, and a much happier disposition. Totally makes sense to me.

For now, I will continue to take two birth control pills to give Mother Nature the “fuck you” she seriously deserves. I WILL be getting laid this weekend, even if I have to send myself into a spiral of hormonal crazy to get there. And that, Mother Nature, is what you would call a stand!!!



Would You Hire an Escort? Fantasies and Fuckery.

…I’m not talking about a male dating a female escort; I’m talking about a woman hiring a man to entertain her… Whatever that entertainment may be.

I’m a twenty-something girl. I live in a modern world, and I consider myself to be an equal to men. I shag like a dude, I date like a dude, and therefore I believe I have a right to answer that question – to “whore” or not to “whore”…..

I keep coming across blogs here on WordPress for male escorts. I’ve never given the topic of conversation much thought to be honest, aside from that one time with The Hubby where he kept shagging prostitutes and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I asked him to take me to the whore-house (as it was called back there) and give me a night of whatever it was that he kept having. He had a serious thing about prostitutes – in our 4 year relationship, he visited these girls 8 different times that I am aware of, over two different continents too. Clearly there was something pretty amazing about them; otherwise he wouldn’t have kept going back. Especially when you consider that he had a wife at home that gave blowjobs on demand, and took it up the ass occasionally to keep things exciting. He refused to take me to the whore-house then, and now I’m kind of glad he didn’t.

The thought of paying for sex turns me on quite a bit – paying for both male and female escorts out there. I’d love to pay a woman or a man to entertain me for an hour, two, maybe a night and make all my wildest fantasies come true. I love cock – I think we have already pretty much figured that one out, however, I do adore the female form too, and nothing beats the feel of a ladies lips around… well, my lips. Winky face 😉

When I found out that The Hubby had gone to the whore-house, I was angry that he had cheated. However, the fact that he had gone and paid for sex made me think and feel something else too – it made me horny. That night, after he had told me about the first prostitute, we had the most amazing sex. It was so angry and passionate – it was vicious and probably verged on abusive. I loved it though – up to the point where him and her popped into my head again, and it just made me cry.

There’s something so hot about having the power to command someone for your pleasure. Money buys you power, so it would make sense that it would end up in the pleasurable world of sex too. Money + power = great sex. It makes sense in my head anyway. That’s why I begged him to take me to the brothel – the thoughts in my head were very exciting, and the thought of making him watch while I was being pleasured by another woman drove me fucking insane.

Coming back to the here and now, would I hire a male escort? Honestly, if I had the spare funds available, knew where to hire someone, and a night spare where jerking off just wouldn’t do; yes, I imagine I would hire an escort. It would have to be a very specific person though – he would have to be perfectly chiseled, tall with dark hair, designer stubble, not too short hair that I can grab on to, a 6 inch circumcised penis, and a mass of tattoos. That guy is my ultimate guy, and for the ultimate sex only he would do.

He would do specific things to me – he would, of course, go down on me and make me climax. He would also have to tie me up, blindfold me, and use various things on my body to drive me insane. Knives, ice, champagne – different materials and different sensations – you get the drift. This would be my first time, you see, so it would have to be very special. He would fuck me hard, tugging my hair and roughly nibbling on my neck. He would tease me before he entered me for the first time. I’m getting carried away here….

In my head, my first night with a male escort would have to be dark and sinister – think the angry scene in Mr. & Mrs. Smith where they fucked and destroyed the whole house. That would be crossed with the fridge scene out of the film  9 and a Half Weeks, and the music playing in the background would be “Sex on Fire” by The Killers and “Relax” by Blake McGrath. That Blake McGrath video gets me hot every damn time! Oh and I saw him live on the other side of the world. He held my hand at the concert while he was singing. I love him. He fucks boys too. Grrrr!

I think, ladies and gentlemen, that I have created a new fantasy in my head in the last ten minutes. I now need to add this to my growing list, which currently includes:

  • Sitting on a girl’s face while a guy pounds me at the same time. In fact, any scenario where a female worships and pleasures my body, while a guy seriously abuses it.
  • The “Rape” Fantasy – any variation of the various fantasies noted on my previous blog post. I won’t repeat myself – it tends to get me horny and then I end up jerking off.
  • The fridge scene out of “9 and a Half Weeks” Actually, I would go as far as to say any sex scene out of that film. I especially love the one where he throws money on the floor and commands her to crawl on her hands and knees to pick it up. That whole film is like porn to me!
  • I’d love to reenact the “cum” scene in many porno’s that involves three men, spunk, and my face.
  • Two men and me… no “holes” barred; enough said.
  • Sex in the rain. This isn’t quite so hardcore – this shows off my romantic side. I want to be romantically kissed in the rain, which leads to a passionate session of “love-making”
  • The riding crop scene out of “Fifty Shades of Grey” ….. Oh hell yes!
  • I want to wear red lipstick and kiss a guy from head to toe – every part of his body. It’s like marking my territory, and it would look pretty too.
  • Apparently, 1% of women can cum through stimulation of the nipples alone. I want a guy to spend long enough on my nipples in foreplay to see whether or not I am one of that 1%
  • I want to reenact the orchid flower scene out of “40 Days and 40 Nights” – he makes her climax with an orchid stem. Even if I didn’t cum, I’d want the guy to spend that kind of time and thought on my lady parts!
  • Sex RIGHT in the middle of a fight. It’s already happened once with The Hubby, but I want to do it again. Over and over again.
  • I want to go to a Swinger’s Party. I don’t know if I would want to actually do anything, but I’d like to be given the chance to see how much it would turn me on.
  • Two gay guys – I love porn that involves two “bear” style men involved. I don’t know why. People look at me strangely when I ever admit this.

Wow, that got really out of hand. Hiring an escort to ultimate fantasies – it’s like the best weird thought process ever. Anyway, back to the topic in hand, and yes – I would love to hire a male escort. And I will definitely be adding to my list of fantasies when I remember them.

How about you? Escorts I mean; not fantasies. Although you can definitely tell me those if you want to…? 😉


Happy Fucking Anniversary Baby.

Today is what would have been our (Big Love and I) three year anniversary. Is it only me that would be hurting today, or would you be hurting too? Am I being melodramatic?

My heart hurts so much right now, I don’t even know how to describe it. It just feels so … heavy? I really, really miss him. It feels as if it were a thousand years ago, but at the same time it could have just happened yesterday. I spent the first six months after I left him sorting out everyone else’s problems, so I delayed my grieving process by about six months I think. And fuck is it hitting like a godamn brick.

I have never felt this pain over losing someone before. I never once felt this bad about leaving The Hubby. No breakup has felt like this; not for me anyway. I smoked a joint when I got home from work last night. I knew it would get bad. I knew I would get like this again; insane, break up crazy. That joint didn’t help me. I actually think it made it worse. I have One Ball sexting me all the things he wants to do to me when I see him next weekend, and all I can think about is Big Love. One Ball doesn’t know the importance of tonight, of course; why would he? I think he knows something’s up though.

I can’t think straight. I watch some TV and I think of him. I type some blog and I think of him. I do my laundry and boom! He’s in my head again. What right does he have to consume so much of my attention right now? Ugh. I hate him.

I didn’t mean that. I don’t hate him.

I can’t remember exactly what he looks like anymore. I have a fuzzy image of his face in my head; just enough to make out it’s him, but not that clear. It’s as if my mind is slowly fading out my picture of him. I see photos sometimes and it hits me exactly how attractive he was to me. That cleft lip that he was so anxious about, or his “designer” looking stubble. He was beautiful in my eyes; from that lanky streak of piss I fell in love with, to the “hench” well-built guy I walked away from. Guys and gals, he was fucking hot.

I wonder if he knows how much he rocked my world? Like actually rocked my world. The guy was awesome. He was funny too, but I think he was funny to me because it was ironic. Half the time I’m not even sure I knew what he was saying to me. His accent just drove me nuts at the beginning so he could have been talking shit to me the entire time and I would never have known it. I think his accent made him sound kinda dumb, but it was hot and red-neck at the same time.

He used to text me every morning to say “have a nice day” and after a while, I learned that when he didn’t send that, I had done something wrong or he was pissed. It was like this weird little code that only we knew about. I used to hate those mornings where I didn’t get a “good morning” text. Yesterday, I got the same feeling for One Ball. He has text me every morning, regardless of time, to say “Good morning!” This morning he didn’t text me. I missed it. I didn’t like that he hadn’t sent me a morning text. He later told me that he hadn’t had signal, but it made me realise how big of a gesture this was for me. I crave that morning text when I am in a relationship, and I liked what it was “code” for with the Big Love – it was our little thing and I want it back.

I’m hurting so bad right now and I really wish I could get over it and stop. I’m disappointed in myself for letting him get to me that much. I’m better than this. Surely I’m stronger than this? What the hell is fuelling my fire for him, rather than putting it out? Have you ever had that one guy that you pined for? Not just pined for; I mean really piiiiiiiiiiiiiined for.

I wish I could tell him how I really feel. I want to tell him how much I miss him. I want to tell him that the fact he never said goodbye fucking broke my heart. I want to tell him that I still think he was “the one”

I want him to know how hard it has been to get over him, and that I don’t think I ever will. He’ll always be the one that got away. He should know how many songs remind me of him – “I won’t give up” by Jason Mraz, “We found love” by Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris, “Hey lady” by Thriving Ivory, “Call me maybe” by Carly Rae Jepson, “Count on me” by Default … This list could go on for some time. Every single one of the songs that destroy me now once held a memory so precious I wanted it to be embedded in my heart forever. I think he has a right to know that me wanting his happiness is a long way off, and as much as I pretend I am happy that he has found someone on the outside, I hope she eats him up and shits him out just like he did with me. I want him to know how beautiful he always was to me, even in his worst of states. I want him to know that he drove me insane with just one kiss. I want him to know that he was everything I could ever have wanted in a man + one awful drug habit I most definitely didn’t sign up for.

I wonder if he remembers that it’s now our anniversary. I bet he does – he always remembered things like that. For our six month anniversary, we were on my side of the world. He waited for me to get home from work naked on the bed, rose petals and candles everywhere, strawberries and squirty cream all over him. He had written a note about why he loved me on a piece of paper on every single one of the stairs leading up to my bedroom. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Unfortunately, I was two hours late home from work because my Lil Sis (who worked with me) had an unsightly swollen insect bite on her foot and it swelled up so big, she couldn’t drive home. I got home, turned him down and went to have a shower. I don’t know why I did that. He always did things like that at the beginning of the relationship. It didn’t last that long though; the romantic phase of our relationship.

I looked at his Facebook today, and his new girlfriend has written on his wall twice. She’s a once a week poster-kinda gal – I wonder if the two posts were for my benefit? I once again realize that the Big Love, and everything about him is sending me into a new spiral of crazy. I’m not even that bothered about One Ball at this point – I’m glad he’s away. One less fucktard I need to bother myself with. Because let’s be honest; you know he’s going to screw me over in one way or another.


“I Won’t Give Up on Us!” – Bunny Boiler Rants.

That song, by Jason Mraz, was “our” song. The Big Love and I, I mean. It was our song. My Best Girlfriend on the other side of the world showed me this song when I was at a point of determination that our relationship was going to work, and I wasn’t going to let his drug problem get the better of us. At the time, I don’t think I realized the significance of the song, which is funny because I don’t think he would ever have realized that this would end up becoming “our” song either. To this day, it has become a song significant in our breakup – me being determined to carry on, and him determining to give up. Just one beat from this song is enough to have my heart feel as if it were being crushed.



That song wasn’t that big when I left the other side of the world;not that many people had heard it. Over here, however, back on MY side of the world, it is EVERYWHERE I fucking go! The contestants on X Factor are singing it every five minutes, and it’s on every TV commercial I seem to hear. I quietly flick through YouTube and BAM! There it is again! So what happens from here? Well, when I am reminded of anything about him, including this damn song that I once used to love; I get into this fury-bred Facebook stalking session of him. And so it begins…



She’s still leaving all these gay messages on his wall, and he’s not responding to them nearly as much as he should being her boyfriend and all. I think they must have broken up a while ago as well, as there were some posts by her removed, and it would seem that she was removed from his Facebook relationship status for a while. And, according to her shitty little comment on a photo he shared, they are “getting a house soon”. You will know if you have read some of my other posts, (He’s Buying a House) that the fact they are even thinking about house buying, grips my heart with an iron fist and causes me to go into a mini breakdown. Guess this means they are back together again now. I’m trying to ignore that comment. Clearly it was for me to see – no person in their right mind would randomly post that on a picture he had shared without meaning for it to be seen by somebody. My crazy lady side is determined that this was for my benefit.

My crazy lady side is also adamant that this relationship is doomed and will fall apart. Clearly they’ve broken up once, and they have only been dating since around March time, so about 8 months. That’s not a good start, that’s for sure. Secondly, he’s an emotional fucktard and he WILL fuck it up. Thirdly – why would I even care? He’s not my fucking problem anymore!



These Big Love rants are really starting to piss me off, and I’m actually concerned that I’m no longer a grieving ex-girlfriend that’s having a meltdown a few months too late; I’m the crazy bunny boiler that all the guys talk about. I’m concerned that I’m the girl that finds a new level of crazy.

In two days, it would have been our three year anniversary. I would advise you stay away from my blog at these points – it’s going to get snotty, that’s for sure. I’m already struggling. Our two year anniversary was a massive one for us. When we first started to have our problems in the relationship, around June last year, we made a pact – if things hadn’t improved by our two year anniversary; six months later, we would part ways. We desperately made changes to the relationship, and the only drawback was we weren’t making the same efforts at the same time. I’d get in from work and be grumpy and pissed off and he’d be cooking dinner, dancing and singing around the house. I tried to explain to him that when I got home from work, I need half an hour just to drink my cup of tea, get all my anger out, and calm down. I worked for very demanding people. He didn’t get it.

I’d get up early in the morning to make his food for him to take to work, and he’d be as miserable as sin. I’d be horny, he’d be grumpy, I’d be up, he’d be down… Can you see the pattern here? We just weren’t “synced” within our relationship anymore.

A few times he threatened to give up before our two year anniversary, but I managed to persuade him we should give it a shot. And vice versa when I was adamant we were over. We did try I guess… Just not good enough. We didn’t learn enough about each other again to give it a good enough shot. We had already destroyed it, and were incapable of getting it back together again.

Imagine if we had given it one more chance. Imagine if I hadn’t have gotten on those flights and came home. Would things be any different? Did we just need to give “us” longer to settle back down again? Naaaah. Things would have been the same – we would have gone around in the same coke-induced life circles we always did. As much as I miss the guy, even I’m not stupid enough to think that we ever would have been able to make it work the second time around. Our relationship wasn’t a “real” one from the start – we met in a war zone, I was still with my husband, then I was back home and he was still out there, then he came to me for two months, then we travelled to the other side of the world. It was when we moved into our own little crib that things started to really fall apart, if we are being totally honest. Nothing about our relationship was “real” or “normal” from the start – it was a whirlwind, fantasy style relationship that was clearly rebounding for both of us, and it never should have lasted as long as it did. I loved him, I still love him, but it was the situation we really fell in love with; not each other.

He loved the fact I was British, I loved the fact he was from the other side of the world. I loved that we met in a war zone; he loved that I could do all the things that he did, and more. He loved that I was innocent to his way of life; I loved the new life he was offering me. See the pattern here – we fell in love with the situation, not each other at all. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t regret any of it for an instant. The thing I do regret is falling so deeply in love with him. When we met, he really was my knight in shining armor and he saved me from a life that I was struggling to survive in. Again – I fell in love with what he could offer me, not necessarily for who he was.

Still doesn’t make it hurt any less though, does it?

Questions, Questions, Questions!

I was recently nominated for the Liebster award, and although I already played the game once, I was nominated a further two times. Never one to shy away from a good game, I decided to answer the 11 questions posted by the second and third nominations I received. It would be rude not to!

So, from the freaking fabulous Lifeofalovergirl, we have the following 11:

1.       What was your first sexual experience like?
My first sexual experience was pretty blah to be honest. He was my first boyfriend, we’d been dating for a few months, and I gave him head. I wasn’t prepared for what I got shooting down the back of my throat, (rude bastard!) and I was a bit shell-shocked to be honest. It took a long time for me to give head after that but now I simply adore doing it. I agree it was a new experience for both of us, but he could at least have had the decency to tell me he was going to shoot his load!
2.       If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
Easy – Canada. I’ve lived there once for a couple years, and it is the most beautiful country I’ve ever had the fortune of visiting. My heart belongs there, in more ways than one.
3.       Do your friends and family know you have a blog? Why or why not?
My Bestie knows I have a blog, but he doesn’t know what it’s called or where to find it. The same applies for One Ball. Also, my best girlfriend on the other side of the world knows about it too. I would never give away the name, or how/where to find it – it’s too personal for that.
4.       What are some songs that remind you of your current relationship(s)?
Breakeven – The Script: This song will now always remind me of One Ball because of a pretty fucked up story he told me. Apparently this song reminds him of this story, and now because he told me, it reminds me of him. As yet, we don’t really have “our song” but I’m sure it will come.
5.       What is one of your favorite meals to eat for dinner?
Lasagne. My favourite food ever. I order it every time I go to a restaurant. Either that or the Steak Sandwich from Mr. Mikes.
6.       Tell us one of your funny or embarrassing dating experiences.
On the other side of the world at a point where the Big Love and I had broken up, I went on a date with a guy that I had met from an online dating website. I wore a dress, heels and probably too much makeup for the situation, while he wore hiking boots and a puffer jacket. He took me to a point called the “Look-out” so that we could hike down the edge…. in my heels?! He had a giant Alsation dog in the back of his truck; a dog I am deathly afraid of. We smoked a joint at the look-out seeing as my heels wouldn’t allow for the hike, and the cops came. He had far too much of a stash of weed to get away with it in the back of his truck, and the dogs went mental at the cops. Long story short, we got away with it, but how we did, I have no idea. My first date after the Big Love and we almost got arrested. I couldn’t stop giggling when I got home, and the Big Love kept asking why. In the end, I just had to tell him.
7.       What do you think about marriage?
The whole idea of marriage never really appealed to me the first time around, and if I’m honest, I’m not really sure why I agreed to do it. Now, after a horrific four year marriage, and a three year separation, I’m still not divorced. Marriage isn’t something I want to do again, and if I’m honest, any “magic” that marriage once may have held for me, now doesn’t stick. I think it’s a way to make things official for convenience purposes, but if I could get away with it, I’d never want to get married again. I’d possibly reconsider for the right person, but I don’t think anyone will ever be just perfect enough to get me to that point. Marriage has been ruined for me.
8.       Name a book you would recommend to your blog readers?
Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. I’ve recently read it and it’s actually incredibly helpful to anyone that has lost their way as a woman.
9.       Name something out of the ordinary that you have done sexually. It can be an act, a place you’ve had sex, whatever.
I once had a foursome in a shed. Number 4, a girlfriend from school and her boyfriend that I later slept with behind her back – Number 3. We were drunk, we had been in the bar all afternoon and evening, and he suggested going back to his to carry on the festivities. I think the idea of swapping, or group sex was suggested on the walk home, and once we got to his, it would appear half of his family were still at his house. We snuck into his garden shed, which was newly erected (Hahaha! I love that word!) and pretty spacious. It was a messy fuck-fest, and only once we had swapped partners and I was with Number 3 instead of Number 4, my guy decided to call it quits because he couldn’t handle the idea. It still makes me smile when I think about it.
10.   What is the most annoying habit of the opposite sex (or people you are dating of the same sex)?
I could create quite a list for this one! The worst thing for me is when a guy thinks that he can get you off by jabbing his fingers into your pussy. Do they really think this works?! Or “tuning” my nipples – you cannot get a radio signal from my nipples, why are trying to tune me in! This twisting action drives me potty!

Awesome questions there! I loved answering them! And thanks again for the nomination!

Moving along to the third nomination – I couldn’t actually find the blog to get the questions and answer them! I will continue to look for them, however, and when I do, I will answer them 🙂

Also, just another little note – thanks to everyone reading this! Today my little blog reached 100 followers. Today is a very proud day for me. Thank you guys ❤


I’m fucked. I’ve fallen for One Ball. Do you want to know when I realized that? It was that exact moment when I worked late, he called and I missed it. I managed to end up speaking to him for a few minutes by the time I got a chance to call him back, and because of the nature of his job, the two week course meant that he would be in his sleeping bag before I even thought about getting home from work and being free to talk again. I guess you’ve probably figured it out – he’s in the military, and he’s away on a training exercise. It means that by the time I get home from work, he’s usually sleeping already, and the ridiculous hour that he needs to get up is when I’m in the land of Nod.

I have all the symptoms – I’m checking my phone every five minutes, as well as the messaging app that we use to see when he last had a signal and was online. Every time my phone beeps, I rush right to it, hoping he has text me. I’m avoiding being busy at certain times in the evening just in case he calls. I got it baaaaad.

We have arranged for some time at his next weekend. I managed to get the entire weekend off work, and his exercise will be done Friday afternoon. So, I’m getting the train (all by myself – this should be hilarious) to where he is, and spending two nights up there before coming back down to mine on Sunday. It’s a two and a half hour journey – I’m taking two lots of birth control pills to make sure I don’t come on my period, and you KNOW that is going to happen! That’s a long way to go for a good shagging.

I am so excited, I actually can’t contain myself. I don’t know if it’s because I get to travel for a weekend – I’m an adventure junkie and it’s been a while since my last big adventure, or if it’s because I get to spend the time with him. Perhaps it is a bit of both? Either way, I’m practically packed already. I’m planning a kinky night in – I’ll be wearing sexy lingerie under my clothes, ready for him to delve right into. I’m going to pop my love balls in when I get on the train – all the better to be ready and wet for when he collects me from the train station. I’m also taking a goody bag of tricks and delights, to blow his pretty little mind!

I’m even thinking of avoiding personal grooming until then, and getting a wax for him. I’m usually an “all-off” kind of girl, but he said a while back that he would prefer a little hair, so I’m thinking about a surprise landing strip….. Yes, I know. I have it baaaaad! I’m thinking of having pubic hair for the first time in 12 years for this man.

We met on the 11th September for the first time. We had been chatting for a while via text (we met on an online dating site) but that was the first time we actually spoke. He came to see me while on a break from work and we had a quick bite to eat. Apparently since that date: 71 days, 10 weeks or 2 and a half months, I have managed to fall for him. And although I’m not at the “I Love You” stage just yet, it is literally a matter of weeks away. I CANNOT stop thinking about this man. I check my phone the second I wake up to see if he has text me. I run whenever I hear my phone beep. I’m wishing the days away until I get to go up and see him. What the hell happened? It’s been like a slap in the face. One minute The Big Love was all I could think about, and now it’s One Ball that is consuming my mind. And my heart.

Two and a half months…. Is that long enough to start thinking about the big “L” word? Should I have such strong feelings towards him already? Isn’t it too soon for all this bullshit? I was with The Guy I couldn’t get rid of for like 4 months and I was nowhere this close to him. I never once thought about saying those three little words to him. How can I already feel like saying it, or at least being the closest I’ve been for a very long time, just two and half months in? Is there even such a thing as “too soon” when it comes to the “L” word?

Everything within me is telling me that this is a dangerous situation and I should get out. He has kids. He can’t spell. He isn’t tall enough for me. He doesn’t dress as I think he should. He’s not the tall, dark, arrogant dick I always go for. The Bestie keeps telling me One Ball is “punching well above his weight.” I’m ashamed of this but sometimes I think he might well be telling the truth. He doesn’t smoke. He’s secretive. He has two exes with kids that he is regularly in contact with. I’m not over The Big Love. I’m not ready for a relationship yet. My Mr. Grey. All those negatives yet still I feel so strongly about him.

I’m in trouble.