A Sexual Debate: The “Rape” Fantasy

Before I begin, I would like to say that there is probably going to be a lot of stuff in here that might offend or upset people. The clue is in the title really, so if you are against THAT word or anything to do with it, it might be wise if you skipped this post!

 

This whole rape fantasy thing has been something that I’ve always wanted to experiment with, and every guy I have dated has had a different approach on the topic. I’m not going to lie; the thought of being fucked against my will turns me on MASSIVELY, but when you think about it, when a rape fantasy is played out, you know it’s going to happen so technically it’s not rape, is it? Is it just a form of bondage…?

*The Husband wanted to follow me home from work on a dark night, roughly grab me and force me into an alley-way, rip my trousers and underwear off, and fuck me. I wouldn’t see who he was, but he would mutter the words “Don’t fucking say anything” in exactly that order so that I would know it was him. He had an accent too – I would most definitely know it was him. He told me I wouldn’t know what night it was going to be, and where he was going to do it, but he would completely indulge my rape fantasy and more than that, he would enjoy it! All those nights I finished work at 10pm and walked the 10 minutes home, expecting it to happen…. It never did. The fact that we even spoke about it excited me though – with him I was never too scared to tell him what my fantasies were, and for the most part, he was always happy to let me play.

*The Big Love wanted to rent a red mustang and drive along Route 66. I would be in a virginal white dress, and he would be wearing jeans, white wife-beater vest with aviator sunglasses. He would have a knife that he would hold against my throat and delicately drag down my skin, and he would fuck me over the bonnet of the vehicle, completely against my will, in broad daylight, somewhere along Route 66. Again, we never made it there, but we got somewhat close. We experimented with knives and soft versions of the rape fantasy.

While we were apart, right at the beginning of our relationship, we wrote each other letters, each one a follow-on of the previous; depicting a long and drawn out rape fantasy. It was old school and I loved it. Old school snail-mail sex and rape. What a weird thought process, huh? I still have his letters to me. I still read them. They still drive me mad.

*One Ball has a hidden side that I am excited to explore. The last time we slept together, which admittedly was quite a while ago as I have been fairly poorly, he was on top, slowly teasing me. I wanted to feel all of him inside me; trying to force him in with my legs around his waist… He grabbed my hair, pulled my head back and growled “Who’s in charge?” Sexiest. Thing. Ever.

The more we text and chat, the more I see this hidden side of him, and the more I want him to let rip. It’s a new “relationship” though – am I brave enough to let out my nasty side yet? Yes we have passionate, rough sex, but it’s not rough-rough, if that even makes sense? Its white-bred kinky, not yet my kind of kinky.

He sent me a picture today – the one at the top of this post. He said if I were naughty and wouldn’t do what he said, he’d do that to me. He’d tie me up and tease me so I couldn’t take anymore. The conversation started because I told him it would be a while before he gave me head. It’s not the sort of thing I can do with just anyone; it makes me nervous, I rarely cum, and it’s SO intimate! Of course, now I’ve told him there is something he can’t do, that’s all he wants to do. It’s not a game on my part, but I have a feeling in the future, I will use it as one – tell a guy he can’t give you head and that’s all he has on his mind!

So he is going to tie me up with the ropes I have in my bedside cabinet, to the point where I have my feet tied to my ankles and cannot possibly move, and he is going to tease my clit with his tongue. He hasn’t seen my ropes yet, but I have sent him a photo of them. They were made for me many years ago by My Mr. Grey, right when things were starting to get interesting, and in all honesty, I actually think he might be the only guy to ever use them on me. They are two long ropes, thick and harsh in texture, tied in the shape of a hangman’s noose at one end. The loose end ties to the headboard and hangman’s nooses restrain my hands….. I remember that night with My Mr. Grey – the rough texture and the pain of the rope around my wrists drove me insane. They left red welts…  I must remember to take them next time we see each other.

 

My response to the picture that One Ball sent was:

“Oh the rape fantasy… my favorite!”

It took a while for him to respond and I got nervous. Have I scared him off already?  He replied:

“You like that?”

It had begun… I had started to let him see a little bit of my dark side and he was playing right back! A heated conversation begun – not the type of rape fantasy I had in mind, of course, but at least a start to one. He’s going to tie me up, tease me, dominate me… You know the drill.

The good news is that he is into risky quickies in public places, which means that my rape fantasy might be closer than I thought to being fulfilled. I could use this as my bargaining chip – he gets his risky public quickie when he simply “takes it” for himself…. A good compromise, right?

So, what’s the deal with the rape fantasy anyway? Why does it turn me on so much? Am I sick in the head? It seems so wrong to fantasize about something that ruins thousands of people’s lives every year…. Does this make me a bad person? The thought of being accosted by a stranger on a dark, cold night and fucked against my will just drives me insanely horny! This is the other thing that puzzles me as well – why does my own rape fantasy change with every guy I’m with? The Hubby had the late night fuck in an alleyway, where the Big Love had the over-the-bonnet fuck in virginal white dress along a dusty dirt road in the blistering heat with a knife…. It makes me wonder, how is my rape fantasy going to be play out with One Ball? Are we even going to make it that far?

Why do I have this insane need to be dominated by every guy I’m with, therefore ditching guys that can’t stand the pace before they even have a chance? The Guy I couldn’t get rid of probably could have dominated me quite well if I had let him. He was just too much of a dousche to have been given that chance.

Am I a submissive in sex because I’m dominant in life? I feel the need to control everything around me, yet in bed, I want to be controlled? I want to be made to feel as if I don’t have a choice, rights, or dignity in bed…. I just don’t understand why this is what I like? Perhaps I’ve just tried everything else out there, and this is the only thing that is left for me to conquer? Maybe, again, that is the reason I cannot get enough of My Mr. Grey – he not only dominates me in bed, but out of the bedroom as well, perhaps not quite in the way that you would think, but that hand across the back of my neck in public is not just an intimacy thing, is it? That’s a dominant thing, as is his hand tightly gripping my ribs as we walk along, arms around each other. The thing is I like it. More than that, I love it. It’s a dominant act that might look like nothing to anyone that walks by, but I know how he touches me like that in bed – the hand around my neck and throat, the gripping hands on my ribs and sides, and I know how on fire I feel when he does that….

I guess what I’m trying to say, with a little bit of wandering off topic in the process, is this – is it OK to want to be a submissive woman in bed? Is it OK to want to be “raped” by a man that I am comfortable enough to share this with?

Answers on a postcard please.

 

 

 

 

12 thoughts on “A Sexual Debate: The “Rape” Fantasy

  1. I definitely indulge in some rape fantasies and love being dominated by men. Men don’t always get it though and I think its because their ideas and mine are not the same. I don’t want to be raped by someone who calls me names or actually hurts me. Each person’s fantasies are their own. Mine is more of a forced sex but not in a bad or painful way. I just like for a man to overtake me.

    My married man is awesome because he will be like “any fantasies you want fulfilled” before I see him, and he does quite well and following through too!! 😉 He is very dominant and pins me down and just does whatever he wants. Unfortunately I don’t get to see him often!! But when I do its so worth it. Once during sex, he was making me cum so much I had to beg him to stop for real. Like I was panicked and thought I was going to have a heart attack or something and he finally heard the urgency in my voice because I was like NO, I am SERIOUS. Then he took it slow for a bit and all was okay.

    I’ve been raped in real life, more than once, so its not that I don’t understand how truly frightening it can be, its just that a certain amount of fear turns me on, just like watching a scary movie or flying downhill on a big roller coaster. Its fear within the bounds of a safety net. When you’ve AGREED to do this with someone you know its safe in the end.

    • Oh my god, sorry to hear that! I love that you understand where I’m coming from though. It’s not that I want the pain, and I don’t mind the harsh words… I think it’s more the scare/adrenaline that I’m looking for?

      As always, loving your comments honey xoxo

      • It’s just as well my wife does NOT have a rape fantasy (having been raped when she was younger). I think I would take it too far. Follow her fantasy to the letter, but secretly replace myself with a buddy of mine to give her the ‘true rape experience’. Always thought wanting to simulate a rape was a contradiction in terms.

        Though my wife won’t talk about what happened and has never brought up this as a fantasy, she every once in a while finds a erotic picture or story that she likes that suggests she might not be as afraid of it as I first thought.

        But how do you ask a rape victim if they are fantasizing about rape?

      • Ooooh the replacement – that’s good! I don’t know how I would feel if that were to happen to me, but in my head right now it sure sounds good…

        That’s a tough question. I guess you’ll just have to leave it down to her really. Or drop in subtle hints – “I saw this thing on the internet/magazine/book where women were fantasising about rape fantasies….” You know the drill.

      • rape survivors don’t fantasize about rape. but they often find the memory’s of the crime intensly erotic. don’t ask me why, i’m lucky, i’ve never been raped

  2. We must be fortunate.. Without subtle words I can feel her energy and not just engage myself in her in such a way to take what I want and she needs as much as what I need and she wants not to stop until we have completely reached each other in that moment.. I can feel if she desires to touch within making love or just wants me to take her and speak in her ear while pulling her hair back and forcing her hands to stay on the kitchen counter.. Or when she comes in with me pushing her down on the stair case and ripping her clothes off and passionately kissing her so she can’t speak while I create a steady stride that continuously hits both her spot of no return and her outer erect place simultaneously.. Some chemistry can be explosive and meaningful.. but there is a way that all these things come stronger just by never hiding who we are.. Truth allows a different pattern of connection that never stops expanding it is in both all the different ways we connect that we can share within our frequency that goes without ever stopping.. we are always in sync…. 😉

  3. love this blog ^^ i think most women fantasize about rape every once in a while. i love being picked up and thrown on the bed and being pinned down while i pretend to fight. i love it when the guy actually puts some effort into it and show you how bad he really wants it even though you’re fighting him off really hard. ^^

  4. I think thge reason that the “Rape” fantasy is so controversial is the wording. Although a lot of women would give other women an earful for admitting it, many women like the idea of being “taken” against their will. Real “rape” is taking against their will typically by someone that the woman does not want to be taken by. Rape is a horrific unwanted assault. What women typically fantasize about is being “ravaged”. The scenario is one where the man, so turned on by teh woman cannot control his animal instincts and simply must have her….the woman…protecting her right not to be taken without permission puts up a fight..but soon too gives in to her instinctive need to be “taken”.

    I had a lover ask me to roleplay a “rape” fantasy once, a little more graphic than what I have outlined here…complete with a van, snatching off the street, handcuffs etc. It all went as per her plan, got her back to my place and when I untied her she kicked me in the balls so hard I almost puked. I think she went a bit too far with the reality…but the truth was although she may have enjoyed the play from the receiving end…being THAT dominant was not something that appealed to me psychologically…and I never got physically aroused…the kick in the balls sealed my fate. Fade to black.

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