As you are probably aware, I have been single for a little while now; about a week or so. The thing is the guy I managed to get rid of has become somewhat of a “text sexter” – not that I’m complaining of course. I need material to get me off just like the next person. The thing that confuses me the most is how a person that can be so sexual in a text message is that bad at the foreplay in real life. I’m not kidding you – this guy drives me nuts with his texts! It’s as though he’s giving me a taste of what I’m missing….
For example, last night I was watching a firm Angelina Jolie film of mine – “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” Now I’m no lesbian, (not that I am against them) but I like the female form: I appreciate it in all its glory, and from time to time, I love to dabble in a bit of girl on girl love. In fact, it drives me mental – I love it. I couldn’t be in a relationship with another chick, but in bed, I simply adore it. I have more than my fair share of experimental encounters; let’s just leave it at that.
Anyway, I indulged the guy I managed to get rid of in a fantasy of mine; one that quite clearly is never going to happen – Angelina Jolie in her knife-loving, blood-sucking, crazy-ass fine form with me and another guy in the bedroom. I have a thing for pain, knives, blood, etc. On the outside I am a normal person though, I promise! 😉
This lead us to a frenzied text sex session in which we obviously both come to climax, and in made me realize – this guy just gets me! It made me miss him. Only for a minute though, and then I realized how much he annoyed me.
Is it wrong of me to keep texting this guy in such a sexual manner? I mean, he knows the score; I’m not looking for a relationship, nor am I contemplating getting back with him. Is he sexting me in a bid to lead to more, or is it just two people indulging in a little light text sex with great results?
The thing about sexting is that it gets more than a bit complicated. I only have so many hands, right? With a phone in one hand and my clitoris in my other – I get a bit flustered. I just need another hand… I feel a little selfish in some respects – he gets me off with his great words, and then I pretend I’m still doing it after I’ve climaxed to get him off. Sometimes I don’t even bother – I just pretend I have fallen asleep. I do appreciate that this is rather nasty, but he doesn’t seem to mind too much. He just tells me in the morning that he had a great wank last night after I “fell asleep!”
This brings me back to my point made in my previous post “I Think We Need to Break Up” – Do I need to fake a relationship in order to not have to fake a great orgasm? I think for now, I just need a relationship that is solely based on sex. Now, with the men around these days you would think that this kind of relationship wouldn’t be too hard to find. It would appear, however, that the only men that I seem to attract are completely the opposite of what I am looking for. All the guys in my life want the big “L” word; the big love story. Where are the men that just want to use and abuse? Why can’t I find someone that just wants to use me for sex? That would suit my current situation just perfectly! The thing is if I found that kind of man, I would probably end up falling in love with him and getting my heart broken again. It’s like a Catch 22 situation, really!
So now I’m back to furiously masturbating while my sexually deprived body lusts after every man in sight. If it carries on like this, I’m going to end up reliving my older days though my blog – the days when I had great sex…. I guess I’m being just a tad melodramatic. It has only been a week or so after all! I just like sex – is that so bad?!