So, I haven’t been around recently and I apologize to my readers for this. It’s been a pretty hectic week to be fair so I thought I’d give you all an update.
So the Mama Bear stuff – she got her blood tests back and they were all clear, so that is good. She had an ultrasound and they found nodules, and we are awaiting the results of those to see if she needs a biopsy. She is in better spirits thankfully, which means that we all are, and my sister now knows about it all so I don’t have to watch my mouth. I’m not very good at keeping secrets and I can never remember to think before I speak, so trying to keep a secret like that for very long would have nearly crippled me!
Now for the man… Well, Wednesday night he came over and we had a bit of a mini fight. He wants my time all the time, and I simply cannot give it to him. Between my Mama, my job, my freelance writing on the side, and my friends and family, I don’t have a lot of time, and I have recently come to the conclusion that I simply do not have time to be a girlfriend. I need a fuck buddy that is there when I need him, and gone when I don’t. It turns out the man was already having reservations about the lack of time we were spending together, or the fact that we didn’t feel like “boyfriend and girlfriend”, so not only did I manage to break up with him somewhat successfully, I also managed to make him believe that it was his idea. Score!
He was fine Wednesday night. I decided to let him stay and obviously honored the parting blowjob. I broke his heart in a roundabout sort of way, so it was the least I could do. Thursday morning we woke up and he started getting all girlie on my ass. Now I don’t mind a bit of emotion from a guy, but considering that we have been dating since April, and in a relationship since the beginning of June, I personally feel that this meant far too much to him for such a short amount of time. I mean, I know I’m kinda cool, but I’m not really anything special, and for him to react in the way that he did Thursday morning, and right up until now, I just feel that he was being a tad melodramatic.
We both agreed that this relationship wasn’t going in quite the right way for either of us. He’s 28, so there is a good chance that he is going to want to settle down at some point soon, and I’ve already done the marriage thing and I haven’t divorced that twat yet, so I’m certainly not looking to settle anytime soon. Also, he wants a proper girlfriend – holding hands, public displays of affection, lots of time toghether, etc. Right now, that really isn’t my thing. So, the sensible option was for us to break up and for him to stop wasting his time on something that wasn’t going to go his way at any point soon.
Firstly, when he left me on Thursday, he decided to tell me that if we were meant to be together, we would end up back together. Sweet. This morning, I woke up to messages from him telling me that he didn’t want us to break up and he thinks we gave up too soon. Seriously? How many more times do I have to tell this guy that right now, a relationship is not for me? It was one of the biggest reasons why the Lapdog and I didn’t work out! It’s funny because the current guy picked up on my reactions to the Lapdog and the things that he did, and commented on how I was jealous. I fought against this to the death of course, but he does have a fair point.
This brings me very nicely to my next point – last night I missed the Lapdogs birthday party, and I feel like a pile of shit about it to be honest. I didn’t go for a few reasons. Firstly, I couldn’t really afford it. Secondly, he had invited a guy that I tried to date when I first came home from the other side of the world, and it all just got a bit weird. Also, this guy and the Lapdog actually hated each for years, so I’m not really sure what’s going on with that situation. From what I can figure out, the guy I almost dated is the best friend of the Lapdog’s girlfriend, AKA the Bitch. Hence the invite, I’m assuming. Thirdly, I don’t want to see the Lapdog sucking the Bitch’s face off the entire evening. I’m single now, so technically I’m not getting laid. I’m going to want to have sex with the Lapdog, and I know that I can’t because he has a girlfriend now.
In short, I am back to being single. I am back to not getting laid. I am also back to staring at my ceiling, feeling more than a little lonely, wishing I had someone to snuggle up with, just like I did last night. However, I would rather be single than not happy with the guy I’m with, so I guess I made the right decisions. Or so I hope….